The Official Writing Challenge
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Powerful story. I found the ending a little rushed, but this is poignant.
09/13/07
I hope and pray this is not based on a true story! Powerful and riveting. I also think about the many people we don't seem to see as we go to and from church. We seem to have an all-consuming desire to present the gospel inside our warm, perfectly controlled, worship experience designed sanctuaries while the lost and dying souls stream right past our churches every day. Your story is a wake-up call to the church to just be led by the Spirit and GET OUT THERE!
We live in our castles and wonder if such things ever happen. Then someone writes about it, and we know it does. Thanks for opening our eyes.
Oh, what a gripping and gut wrenching story! You wove it in a way that put your reader 'right there'. IF ever there was a call to put gumption in our supposed obedience to the gospel, this is it. Love the title too. It's perfect!
09/15/07
Amazing. Perfect title, and a completely gutwrenching story with an amazing hope that only He can provide - through us!
09/17/07
An amazingly well-written story that I am sure happens more often than we can fathom. Surely God weeps over these little ones. Awesome writing that makes me want reevaluate some priorities.
09/17/07
Wow! Such reality in your writing! The dialog seemed right on - loved the comment that Brother's head wasn't on very tight! Amazing entry. :)
Sharlyn your writing here is just superb - the no-holds-barred description of a little scrap of human flesh entering its dismal world, the introduction of his first savior, the sister, to keep him alive, the Holy Spirit knocking on the door of Laura's heart, and then Jasmine's heart - all were sequenced so beautifully. How gratifying to us and what a blessing to others if we would only listen more to the Spirit and follow His leading.
10/01/07
This sounds so real, and really painful to think that situations such as this do exist. But, you write such a beautiful story, and the suggestion of a happy ending, makes this reader want to know more about that precious Jasmine.

Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment on my "surprised" entry. I do appreciate it, and you, too!