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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Surprised (09/06/07)

TITLE: A Kiss in the Night of Day
By George Parler
09/12/07


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“Eve?”

“Yes, Mother; what is it now?”

“It’s Ian; he’s ruining everything.”

“Ruining it for whom, Mother? I don’t care what he wants to do today as long as he says ‘I do’.”

“Oh really? So you don’t care that he’s insisted the pianist play the melody of ‘Three Blind Mice’ while he and his band of merry men walk out in front of all our family and friends.”

Eve smiled. “Yep, that’s my Ian. One thing is certain, this marriage will be anything but dull.”

“Dull? Insane is the word that comes to my mind.”

“Well then, it will be our little nut house. Now please quit worrying, Mother, and help me with this.”

“What on earth are you doing with that? Oh merciful heavens. Have you taken leave of your senses as well? Will someone please shoot me and put me out of my misery.”

“Stop being so dramatic Mother; don’t you want me to be happy?”

“Well, of course I do, Eve. There is nothing I want more in the entire world than your happiness. You must know that.”

“Then be happy for me Mother, because when I’m with Ian I am truly happy.”

“Okay, okay, I give up… I will support your happiness, but promise me one thing; have children that are sane.”

“It’s a deal. Now please help with this. It’s almost time.”

“I can’t believe you’re really going out there wearing that.”

“Mother?”

“Sorry, mum’s the word.”

“Where is Daddy? It’s almost time.”

“Well if he’s like everyone else around here he’s probably running around the church wearing a pink ballerina tutu.”

A voice comes from the doorway. “I couldn’t find one my size.”

“Good heavens Charles, you startled me.”

“I figured I needed to come rescue our daughter.”

“Hi Daddy. Well, how do I look?”

“Like an angel, Sweetie. But what’s with the…”

“Don’t worry Charles, it’s just your family genes coming out in her.”

“ Looks good to me.” Charles smiled, holding out his arm. “Hey, that’s one of my favorite tunes they’re playing.”

“Charles, you actually like ‘Three Blind Mice’?”

“No Agnes, that’s the theme song to the ‘Three Stooges’. I love that show.”

“Will this day ever end?” Agnes rolls her eyes.

“Yunk, yunk, yunk;” Charles gives his best Curly impression. “That’s our cue, Sweetie. Are you ready?”

Eve laughs. “Soitainly. Coming Mother?”

“Yes, just let me get my stick horse and clown nose. I wouldn’t want to feel out of place.”

The wedding march rings throughout the church as everyone stands giving honor to the entrance of the bride.

“Tell me what you see.” Ian whispers to his best man.

“Well I see a cute blonde making eyes at me on the third row...Ow. Hey man what’s with the elbow.”

“What about Eve, Rob?”

“She’s coming man, keep your shirt on. Oh, there’s that old lady that growled at us earlier.”

“Rob?”

“What, Bro?”

“I am blind; remember? I want to know what you see so I can picture it in my mind and remember this day and everything about it. Specifically, Eve, my bride.”

“Oh, sorry dude; my bad. She’s beautiful, man. She’s got a long white dress with two little munchkins trailing behind her hanging on to the hem. A white net is over her face. Do you think she’s trying to hide a zit or something?

“Rob, you’re killing me. Just be quiet.”

The music stops as the minister begins. “Who gives this bride to be wed?”

“Her mother and I.” Charles kisses the back of Eve’s hand and joins his little girl’s hand with Ian’s.

“Rob, what’s wrong?” Ian questions as he hears the crowd’s startled reaction as the bridesmaid helps Eve to pull back her veil.

“Whoa…Dude… your queen is wearing a white silk blind-fold over her eyes.”

“Eve? What are you doing? How will either one of us remember our wedding day like this?”

“Ian, you always see so much more than I do. I want to see through your eyes today.”

“A tear falls down Ian’s cheek, as he reaches out to touch her face. Slowly leaning over, he kisses her gently on the lips.

The minister interrupts. “Excuse me? Aren’t we putting the cart before the horse, son?”

“Oh, sorry your Honor.” Ian said, jerking back to attention. “Continue please.”

“Dude…was that legal?”

“Not now Rob.” Ian whispers.

“Ian?”

“What Rob?”

“You sure are one lucky guy.”

Ian smiles. “I know little brother. I know.”


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This article has been read 1101 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 09/13/07
Your dialog is done absolutely masterfully, and the storytelling had me engrossed from start to finish. Perfect ending.
Jan Ackerson 09/16/07
Oh my, oh my, oh my! I can't TELL you how much I loved this story. I'm speechless...it's just beyond wonderful.
Sharlyn Guthrie09/16/07
Your title is intriguing and the dialogue kept my attention to the end. Touching, romantic, and well-written.
Betty Castleberry09/17/07
What a wonderful, precious, and fun story. I love the touches of humor, and the GREAT message at the end. Very well done.
Dee Yoder 09/17/07
Wonderful! The dialog is a joy to read. The descriptions of the characters are rich, too. I love the Dad and the Three Stooges thing!
Loren T. Lowery09/17/07
A very poignant and creative take on the theme. The humor shows the wonderful heart of the family and the groom coould not have picked not only a better bride, but a better best man as well.
Patty Wysong09/17/07
I Love this!! I'm laughing and crying at the same time--sheesh. The banter and fun were terrific, but Eve's 'seeing things' through Ian's eyes was the best. Great job!
Julie Ruspoli09/17/07
Such wonderful dialog and characters. Great article George. Bravo!
Beth LaBuff 09/17/07
Perfect title! Love the story...there were surprises throughout. Your writing is amazing with wonderful creativity shown throughout.

I actually did something similar for my sister and her husband's wedding. His family was from Mississippi and he lived and breathed "civil war". My sister was from Iowa. (our ancestors were in common battles/skermishes). After the "husband and wife" pronouncement I incorporated Dixie (I wish I was in the land of cotton...) with Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" alternating phrases --on the piano. You could say it was quite a "surprise" to the groom.
Frank Creed09/18/07
Princess Fiona--
That had to be so much fun to write--your smile as you typed must have been as big as your readers. Darn weddings!

Faith,
f
Dianne Janak09/20/07
Loved this... perfect title.. ending... sweet.. funny... loving.. quirky... masterpiece! Congrats on your much deserved win!
Janice Cartwright09/20/07
I didn't guess until right near the very end. Loved the mother's wry humor as shown through her dialogue and the message reminded me of a scene in a movie called "The Ride" where all the kids shave their heads so the one boy with leukemia won't feel embarrassed when he has to remove his hat for the pledge of allegiance to the flag.
Kristen Hester09/20/07
Wonderful! Love the title, the dialogue, the surprise, the humor, the story...everything! Great job and congratulations.
Sheri Gordon09/20/07
Congratulations on your EC. This is a great piece -- so much for to read. Great job.
Celeste Duckworth09/24/07
Sparkling dialog, I cried when I read the bride wore a blindfold. Wow, ya got me. Can't wait for more.
I>H>S
Celeste