The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/16/07
Good writing, and an interesting story.

I'd be more convinced that David was right for the deacon's job if he had volunteered to do Skeeter's work, rather than consent to do so with reluctance...but I guess that shows him to be realistically human.

You do a great job with dialogue; your characters seem like real people.
09/17/07
I like the characters and the dialog very much! It is hard to be enthusiastic about church cleaning. My family is on the short, and growing shorter, volunteer cleaning list at our small church, and believe me, I don't always feel like rejoicing when I have to clean the glue and crayons off that first grade table AGAIN! Good story!
09/17/07
A good story, very well told. I kinda guessed that they offer him head of deacons if he'd clean, but it didn't matter. I enjoyed reading the conclusion anyway. Nice job!
09/18/07
Nice dialog - I almost cried when I saw that big long line after he was willing to do Skeeter's work - thought you were ending the story there! Thanks for not getting me in a tizzy LOL. This story flowed quite well.
David was a faithful servant, and it paid off. Nice flow to this. Nicely done.
Wonderful story. Even when it hurts, humility is a good quality. You showed that well.
09/19/07
I like your story and the fact that David was willing to do the work. The recognition of being a deacon is great but the actual work may be a different story. You've told this story well.