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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Surprised (09/06/07)

TITLE: Are Thoust Ready?
By Kathy Bruins


Liz didn’t feel like doing anything today. The funeral seemed so strange. The casket had been kept close, so others wouldn’t continually ask why Judy looked different. Being in the Witness Protection Program allowed Judy to transform her entire life. Did I just bury a stranger, Liz thought. I must remember that it was still Judy inside, even if it didn’t look like her on the outside, she encouraged herself. Liz continued to look out the window at the colorful rushing leaves…some hit the window and bounced to the ground two floors below. Somehow, it seemed therapeutic to watch…just to be connected to what was happening in nature.

Sitting on the window sill looking down to the street, Liz watched as a horse and carriage were moving on the side street. Must be a newly married couple, Liz thought. There’s still romance…even in Detroit. Surprisingly, the horse and carriage stopped in front of her building. There was only one person in the back…a man. Liz could see as he hopped out of the carriage that it was Thomas. She heard the buzzer to her apartment.

Pushing the button, Liz tried to sound unaware, “Yes?”

“Your carriage awaits, Ma’am,” Thomas teased.

“Excuse me, who is this?” Liz was still playing.

“Madam, has thou forgotten my likeness from thy window view?”

Rats, he saw me, she thought. “Ah yes, it’s all coming back to me now. The lad from the street, and how may I help you?” This was fun, she smiled.

“Your presence is requested for a journey around the neighborhood. What say you?”

“I suppose I do have an obligation to view the people’s land, and would be most appreciative of your accompaniment.”

“Your wish is my utmost command, my lady. I shall await your descent.”

Liz was laughing now. “A moment is all that is required, Sir.”

She quickly ran her fingers though her hair, donned an Autumn-colored sweater, and headed for the stairs. Upon exiting the building, Thomas bowed before her, and said, “My lady.”

Liz’s smile reflected how her heart was touched by this generous gesture of kindness. Thomas assisted her into the carriage, then hopped up next to her and sat. He called to the driver, “Go forth, my good man,” and the carriage started down the street.

Cars would slow down to take a look at the couple in the carriage. One elderly woman walking on the street touched the arm of her husband and pointed to the carriage with a look of…”remember when?”

“Thank you, Thomas. This is really something I needed today. My plan was to hide in my apartment all day. But this is so uplifting.”

Thomas looked into her eyes, “I know how painful it has been for you.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “I just want to show you that I care and I’m here for you anytime.”

Enjoying the scenery, Liz didn’t notice the little basket Thomas pulled out from under the seat as the carriage came to a stop in front of a park. “What is this now?” she asked him.

“Oh, I thought we may need a break from the long journey, so I threw together a few things to keep up our strength,” he said as he got out of the carriage. He hooked the basket on his arm and turned to help Liz out.

They walked hand in hand to a beautiful sunny spot by the water. Children were playing at the swing sets in the distance. A sailboat rested on the horizon. Liz’s heart spilled over with thankfulness to a God that could create such beauty, and care about His children so much to lavish them with His blessings.

Thomas spread a small blanket on the ground and began to empty the basket. He took out fresh baked bread, cheeses, bottled water, grapes, and beautifully-formed chocolates. This was obviously not “thrown together” as said, Liz thought. This was an offering from the heart.

“I thank God for you today, Thomas.”

He smiled, “Well, if there is a God, I’m thankful to Him for you, too.”

“Still doubting, eh? Well, God and I will convince you of His great love for you someday.”

He shrugged, “Maybe.”

Liz prayed silently for that to happen soon.

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This article has been read 822 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Patty Wysong09/14/07
Thomas is such a sweetheart!
You captured the season and Liz's mood so well that I could smell Autumn. :-) I enjoyed their role playing--it went well with the carriage ride. :-) Good job. Hugs!
Jacquelyn Horne09/16/07
What a wonderful surprise. I feel confident that Thomas will indeed find the love of the Savior.
Sharlyn Guthrie09/17/07
This story needs a sequel, because I really want this wonderful man to come to faith. Good descriptions, and the playful language was fun. Suggestion: Remember to use quotation marks even for thoughts (first paragraph).
David Butler09/17/07
Interesting turnaround from crime/intrigue (?) to romance. That was certainly a surprise. I even wondered if he was going to pop the question. Nice feel about this one.
I'm not so sure that thoughts must always be put in quotes though. That seems to change the dynamics of the story a bit. A focussed thought maybe, but the passing thought she had seemed appropriate to leave in the narrative unquoted. I may be wrong.
LaNaye Perkins09/18/07
What an endearing story you gave us with this entry. I really liked it.