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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Surprised (09/06/07)

TITLE: Grandma Betty's surprise!
By Sue Dent
09/06/07


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Grandma Betty's surprise!

“Surprise!” they all yelled at once. It had been dark when Grandma Betty walked in but the lights came on the instant she opened the door.

“Surprise?” she scowled. “I’m ninety-two years old today. The only surprise is gonna be if that birthday cake don’t melt from all the candles on it. Whose idea was that anyway? Ninety-two candles on a cake. You should have just written 9-1-1 on the top of it so the grandchildren will know who to call when the house catches on fire.”

“Oh come on now,” bold Mary Beth tried. “We brought you something?”

Grandma shot her a warning glance. “Well it better be somethin’ that wears out fast because I don’t plan on leaving nothing behind when I go. I’ve already got my will laid out and I ain’t changing it. And the antique china you’ve had your eyes on is going to Mary Lou because she entertains a good bit more than you. Oh, and if you two want to fight about it, then please do so now. It might liven up the party.”

“No, no,” Mary Beth said with a gracious smile. “It’s just what you asked for.”

“Ben Gay?”

“No,” Mary Beth said the smile growing tense, “the other thing you asked for.”

“Well, surprise!” Grandma rattled. “I don’t remember so why don’t you tell me. And I hope you didn’t wrap it ‘cuz you know somebody else will have to open it, what with my arthritis and all.”

Robert stepped forward. “It’s in a bag.”

Grandma yanked the package from him and looked inside. “A blood pressure monitor! Now why in the world would I want one of these? If I’m alive my blood pressure’s okay. If I’m dead then it just don’t matter. Are you sure I didn’t ask for a blanket because that’s something I could use.”

“I got you a blanket,” Sarah Jean shouted out, as happy as someone who thought they’d won the lottery.

“Is it wool because you know I’m allergic to wool.”

Sarah Jean sat back down.

Grandma looked all around the room, stopped on every face and shook her head.

“Ninety-two years,” she said. “Ninety-two years and you still don’t get it. It ain’t a surprise if somebody knows about it.” She walked off muttering. “A blood pressure machine and a wool blanket. You might as well bury me now.”

Phil looked at Arnold after she left. “Tell me again, why do we do this every year?”

Seconds later the door to granma’s room flew open.

“Surprise!” she said to all the stunned faces as she howled with laughter “I gotcha. After ninety-two years, I finally gotcha! Now somebody give me a piece of that cake.”


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This article has been read 788 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Janice Cartwright09/13/07
Grandma Betty is quite a gal! With that kind of lively spirit she just might make it to 100. I liked your story!
Betty Castleberry09/13/07
I was drawn to your title because I am Grandma Betty to 5 perfect kids. ;0)
I like Grandma Betty's spunk. Cute ending. Nicely done.
George Parler 09/13/07
What a gal. LOL

Nice dialog and humor in your writing. Good Job.
Jacquelyn Horne09/14/07
Cute turn of events.
Frank Creed09/14/07
You do dialogue so realistically. I can't believe how well you use archetypes to make a reader care about your characters in so few words. I'm guessing FaithWriters keeps writing challenge authors a secret for an impartial judging, but this is a voice I recognize. Good for granny!
Mark Bell09/14/07
I'm impressed..you even managed to change my grandmother's name to protect her! The dialogue was that believable. Nicely done.
Dee Yoder 09/14/07
Grandma is a hoot! Your story made me smile, especially Grandma's constant complaining! The twist at the end is a neat finishing touch.
Julie Arduini09/14/07
Oh this was fun. The dialogue was top notch. Betty will outlive us all!
Verna Cole Mitchell 09/15/07
This is a delightful story--beginning to end.
Jan Ackerson 09/17/07
I want to be just like Grandma Betty when I grow up (and I'm well on my way...) Loved every word!
Loren T. Lowery09/18/07
Nothing wrong with this granny's mind and sense of humor. A fun story to read.
Joanne Sher 09/19/07
How fun! Love just about everything about this. The REAL surprise was something else. I hope I'm like this when I'm a grandma.
Beth LaBuff 09/19/07
I love Grandma's sense of humor. Don't know if I'd have the guts to do what she did (maybe I will when I'm 92). :) Great story -- great writing!
Marty Wellington 09/20/07
Great voice and a lot of fun! Congratulations!
Sheri Gordon09/20/07
Congratulations on your highly commended. This is one of my favorites -- it's hysterical. Great job.
Lisa Holloway09/20/07
Grandma Betty's a trip. Congratulations!
Sharlyn Guthrie09/20/07
This is hilarious! Loved every twist and turn. Congratulations.
Kristen Hester09/21/07
This is just too much fun. Thanks for giving me a smile today. Blessings!
Celeste Duckworth09/24/07
Cute, cute, cute grandma. My grandma was cute too. She lived to be 102 and she was a nut. Thanks for the fun.