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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Bold (emotionally) (08/30/07)

TITLE: Blazing Justice
By Pat Guy


I am waiting … and yes … I have set him up – set him up good. He’ll be walking over to my house in just a few moments thinking I have a new potted plant to share. We’ve been exchanging plants and cuttings for over 25 years now – showing off our gardens and watching our kids grow up … ‘watching’ … it has whole new meaning to me.

He doesn’t know that I know what’s been going on. He suspects nothing, and for now, that’s just the way I want it. I’ve just been biding my time not knowing what to do; sadly aware no one can do anything about it but me.

Ahhhh … that’s good … the curtains in my front window are parted just enough and the shrubs around the fence on our front porch should do just fine – the one time I’m thankful they haven’t been trimmed yet.

Shuffling feet … I hear him … my purpose kicks into gear, “Oh! Hi Don … over here.”

Blazing fury shoots from my heart, down my arm, through my fist, striking his chin. I feel no pity for the man stumbling backwards grabbing the fence for support – hidden from view. All sentiment has vanished … burned to ashes by betrayal.

“Don. What you do on your own property is your business, but do not, I repeat, DO NOT involve my daughter, you pervert! No more stalking, no more waiting until I’m gone to keep your door opened, or leaving the house when she does. And by the way … what I do on my own property is my business … and you’re on my property. Don’t ever set foot on it again.”

My knee yearns to continue this flame of justice while he cradles his jaw, stunned, but I walk into my house slamming the door. My daughter beams with pride and wonder. She has been protected. “Great right hook mom!” she speaks in awe.

I look at the love of my heart … my princess and try to control the tremble in my voice, “I think I need some ice.”

Don’t ever mess with a Mama Bear’s cub.

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This article has been read 1072 times
Member Comments
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Amy Michelle Wiley 09/06/07
Even if I didn't know whose this was--
I would know! Great writing, and great right hook! Haha!
Betty Castleberry09/07/07
Powerful. I like this type of justice, and love the last line. Great writing.
Verna Cole Mitchell 09/08/07
I was so with Mama Bear. Her justice was very satisfying. Great story.
Sharlyn Guthrie09/08/07
Yikes! The moral of this story is right on, just as the story is right on topic. I'm not sure it's true (legally) that you can assault a person on your own property, but I'm betting this creep isn't gonna argue.
Joanne Sher 09/08/07
Loving this - you kept me on the edge of my seat.
Sherry Wendling09/08/07
Perfectly constructed to set up the reader for a terrific ride! Anyone who can pack a literary "punch" like this in as few paragraphs as you did here is a master in my book.(BTW, I understand that the most viciously protective mother in the animal kingdom is ---- A MAD MOTHER MOOSE! Just ask anyone from northern Maine.)
Debbie Roome 09/11/07
Wow! Straight to the point. Good writing.
Linda Watson Owen09/11/07
Hah!! Talk about 'packing a punch'! You sure did it up right on this one! Actually it brought to mind an incident when I was in junior high. Some older boys decided to terrorize me and two other friends at our local park. My mother and Betty, a family friend, put those boys in their place quick and in a hurry. Betty, a petite blonde in high heels, scurried up a steep hill chasing the goons and giving them 'what for' all the way. It was such fun to see those guys run from that little blonde lady with the big voice! LOL! As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed your story!! Great writing!
Jan Ackerson 09/11/07
As I mentioned before, that last line is a kicker-and-a-half! One of the best ever!
Kristen Hester09/12/07
Wow. I really thought this was a romance and she was luring him over to flirt. Was I ever wrong. Great story. I got chills when she punched him. From one mama bear to another, way to go,girl. There is a time to be BOLD and this was the time. Great writing.
Loren T. Lowery09/12/07
This one took me by surprise, but it sure brings out an often overlooked truth : No one messes with Momma! Great job and right on topic!
Patty Wysong09/12/07
SUPER-duper!! Your short piece is as powerful as your right hook. Great job! (I loved the line about needing the ice--definately true. lol)
Jacquelyn Horne09/12/07
Surprising story. I wasn't expecting this. Well written.
Dee Yoder 09/13/07
How did I miss this one? Way to go, Mom! He got what he deserved-what a creep. I certainly felt the MC's emotions over this betrayal and her determination to make him AWARE of how she felt!
Julie Ruspoli09/13/07
This was so interesting. I couldn't read fast enough to see what was bothering the mother. Bravo for her, if only we could see a problem before it happens more often. And too bad the law doesn't allow us to actually stand up for our kids like this. Great job Pat!