The Official Writing Challenge
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Even if I didn't know whose this was--
I would know! Great writing, and great right hook! Haha!
Powerful. I like this type of justice, and love the last line. Great writing.
I was so with Mama Bear. Her justice was very satisfying. Great story.
Yikes! The moral of this story is right on, just as the story is right on topic. I'm not sure it's true (legally) that you can assault a person on your own property, but I'm betting this creep isn't gonna argue.
09/08/07
Loving this - you kept me on the edge of my seat.
Perfectly constructed to set up the reader for a terrific ride! Anyone who can pack a literary "punch" like this in as few paragraphs as you did here is a master in my book.(BTW, I understand that the most viciously protective mother in the animal kingdom is ---- A MAD MOTHER MOOSE! Just ask anyone from northern Maine.)
09/11/07
Wow! Straight to the point. Good writing.
Hah!! Talk about 'packing a punch'! You sure did it up right on this one! Actually it brought to mind an incident when I was in junior high. Some older boys decided to terrorize me and two other friends at our local park. My mother and Betty, a family friend, put those boys in their place quick and in a hurry. Betty, a petite blonde in high heels, scurried up a steep hill chasing the goons and giving them 'what for' all the way. It was such fun to see those guys run from that little blonde lady with the big voice! LOL! As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed your story!! Great writing!
09/11/07
As I mentioned before, that last line is a kicker-and-a-half! One of the best ever!
Wow. I really thought this was a romance and she was luring him over to flirt. Was I ever wrong. Great story. I got chills when she punched him. From one mama bear to another, way to go,girl. There is a time to be BOLD and this was the time. Great writing.
This one took me by surprise, but it sure brings out an often overlooked truth : No one messes with Momma! Great job and right on topic!
09/12/07
SUPER-duper!! Your short piece is as powerful as your right hook. Great job! (I loved the line about needing the ice--definately true. lol)
Surprising story. I wasn't expecting this. Well written.
09/13/07
How did I miss this one? Way to go, Mom! He got what he deserved-what a creep. I certainly felt the MC's emotions over this betrayal and her determination to make him AWARE of how she felt!
09/13/07
This was so interesting. I couldn't read fast enough to see what was bothering the mother. Bravo for her, if only we could see a problem before it happens more often. And too bad the law doesn't allow us to actually stand up for our kids like this. Great job Pat!