The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/08/07
An exciting story that really illustrates "bold" beautifully!

Some of your rhymes and meters seem a bit forced...you want a poem to flow more naturally.

Your grandmother was a special lady--I love feistiness!
Those of us with grandparents who have paved the way boldly for us are very blessed. Thank you for taking the 'bold' theme in that direction!
09/12/07
From what I read here it sounds as if you serve/lived in the mission field. I liked your story but I do agree that the verse sounded forced in some places, though in other places it flowed nicely. Over all it's a good story well told. Poetry is not my strength. A poet friend told me poetry is about percise wording to create both a smooth flow of words and stir emotion/ideas. Thanks.