The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/06/07
Wow! Exciting and fast-paced writing. I was engrossed in the story from start to finish. Is there more?
09/07/07
Oh, please keep it coming. I loved it, wowsey wow. Head for the puppy pen with with one. Hope to read another next week. This is very carefully prepared, the details and the action carried it.
09/10/07
What? What? What?
More! More! More!

I'd tell you how to fix this but it's kind of hard to fix what ain't broke!!!

Very, very nice!!!!!
09/11/07
Love the unique voice here, the sparse writing style.

I was slightly distracted by the number of hyphenated compound words. Lots of them could lose their hyphens and still be perfectly correct. I understood the setting-specific ones, however.

You're going to be making a huge impression here if this is any indication. First rate!
09/12/07
Oooh! Very good. I love this piece. Especially the little hand to hand combat and the mindware...and oh yeah, everything else. A few spaces, though in some places might have carried more impact, say in the next sentence, e.g. with the light, 'all better to see you with' could be a stand alone sentence. Good job.
This is auperb writing,and makes me wnat to read more. I agree about the hyphenated words. There are too many, and they do become distracting.
This would make a great action movie scene.
Oooo, I love sci-fi with the anti-Christian world setting and this didn't disappoint. Welcome to the challenge!