Billy, Chili and Star Trek
Dressed in politically correct Captain Kirk attire, Sam Carlisle, used car salesman by day, wiped at the ketchup stain on his costume. “Do you think it’ll come out?”
“Gee, I don’t know,” Jimmy Chang replied. Of Asian decent, he got the role of Checkov. He tried to explain to the back woods production crew that Asians didn’t really look like Russians but his argument fell on deaf ears. He was the only one who could put on an accent that sounded different. Everybody else just sounded like a “red-neck” trying to put on an accent. That was Sally Strickland’s observation anyway and so the part was his. “But if it doesn’t come out you can just say it’s blood—Captain!” They both had a good laugh at that.
Mavis Pearl, Uhura for this evening’s performance walked up to the snack table and pushed at the wig piled up on her head. She worked at the bank, was married to a lawyer and had “given birth” to seven kids. That’s how she’d tell you to, if you asked. She spoke her mind and did so with confidence. “I know they did-int forget the vegetable tray, ”she said sauntering up,” put her hand on the “blue tooth” attached to her ear. Who would’ve thought technology would come so far. “Yes, you will go to bed for your sister,” she said into the air around her while biting on a carrot she'd just picked up and dipped. “Yes, I will “beam” myself home if you don’t.”
Checkov and Kirk stared after her as she walked off.
“Where do you suppose Billy is?” Chang asked.
Sam shrugged. “Last time I seen him he was hitting the chili pot down there pretty hard.”
Taylor Higgs walked up then, dressed as Spock and looking concerned. “My ears keep falling off." He held the spock-like attachments in his hand. "No matter what I do, I can’t get them to stay in place. Do you think I should use super glue?”
"No!" Both Sam and Chang said at the same time. Their combined experience with super glue gave their negative reply substance. They would not soon forget how long it took for Sam's hair to grow out before they could actually cut the brim of the Santa hat off his head.
“And anyway,” Sam added, "we’ve got bigger problems. Chang here says he’s seen Billy over at the chili pot.”
“Aw man,” Taylor groaned. “Scotty’s got the opening line too. How are we supposed to put on a benefit when he’s been hittin’ the chilli pot this early?”
Uhura walked back over, confronted the three men talking. “Captain,” she said, completely in character, or at least what she decided was in character. “I just saw Billy Martin, running out that door. I asked him if he knew the play was about to start and do you know what he told me?”
To her theatrics, the three just stared.
“He told me that they never fixed the plumbing from last week when the water main broke. Now where in the world do you think he was headed? This is no time to be working on the plumbing. Where could he possibly be going?”
The chili pot weighing heavy on their minds, all three struggled with thoughts that had them fighting not to laugh. “I’m guessing,” Taylor said, in effort to come up with something decent to say, after all, Uhura was a fine upstanding member in their community, “that he had to boldly go where no man has gone before.”
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