The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
I loved your colorful descriptions of the storm. You did a really good job on this. But one thing puzzled me: I believe the train sound comes with a hurricane. I've lived through tornados and the sound is not as devastating as the damage they do.
Great job! Best of luck!
08/30/07
Very good descriptive writing. I've never been in a tornado, but I could feel the fear through your descriptions. And a powerful message, too. Nice job.
08/31/07
This is my favorite so far--I love that long paragraph toward the end. Wonderful writing!
08/31/07
You did a great job bringing the reader into their world. I could feel their fear.
09/01/07
Very real! Been through many a hurricane...but tornado's are something else! Loved your last line! Nicely done!
This is awesome writing. Your vivid descriptions put the reader right in the midst of fear.
I grew up in Kansas (need I say more?) I definitely remember hearing the distant train sound as we watched a tornado take out our neighboring town. Great job on the descriptions and on the story itself.
09/03/07
Excellent description - you put me right in the middle of the storm within and without. Great title too - and I love the last line.
09/03/07
Tornadoes are terrifying! Your story brought back memories of one I experienced as a child near Chicago one summer. Very scary, loud, and powerful! The sirens, the debris, the people wailing; it was very realistically described in your story.
Terrifying experience. You pictured it well.