The Official Writing Challenge
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Hahaha! You got me! Even with all the excellent foreshadowing. Verrry clever!
I loved the detail about her trying to compile an accurate description of him for later investigation! And her aching back...Obviously we've both spent time crouched in the closet! Great stuff.
08/31/07
OHHHHHHHH, so good! I figured it had to be a creature of some kind, but you kept me hanging on to every word right to the end.
You did a great job with "fearful" here. I was hanging on every word till I read "spider." Then my mind was at ease till the last sentence. Wow!
As I was just stung tonight by a scorpion and then had to hunt down and kill another one, this piece really spoke to me. GREAT JOB! It is so much fun. I understand the feelings of the MC. You did a great job!
08/31/07
I am clueless reading these tonight.. lots of surprises and twists and fun endings... Great writing.. kept me into it till the end... Loved it.
You got me! I can definitely relate, though. I hate spiders! I'm quite sure I wouldn't hide from one in a dark laundry room, though. Fun story (at the end!)
09/01/07
This is so very funny. I have had experiences with family members who are scared of spiders. You did a great job on this one.
09/02/07
Excellent suspense - and a great twist. You definitely got me too! Great job!
09/02/07
Well, I wasn't hiding in a closet this morning, but I was standing on the toilet seat lid, calling for my husband to get the "GIGANTIC" spider that was in the TUB! Ewww. And Ick. I can relate. Totally. And, they ARE intruders. And dangerous. Really, they are.

Your writing had me right there with you!
09/03/07
Fun! I'm getting to know you too well - I had it figured from the beginning - only I thought it was a mouse. haa haaa

Great suspense and keeping the reader engaged, but that is no surprise my sweet talented friend.
09/03/07
Perfect, but you got the name wrong--should have been "Jan." I saw one once in my house, about this big:

[--------------------------]

...and I put a coffee mug over it and took my little girls to the mall. Hubby got home, saw the mug in the middle of the floor, thought must be a spider under there and dispatched it for me.

You got the terror JUST RIGHT.
09/03/07
Okay ... the last line gave me a shuddering chill! I couldn't figure out what 'thing' was the intruder but I certainly didn't expect a teeny-tiny spider!

Too funny Lynda! The last line clinched it all! Oh the horror!!!!!! :) Kudos girl!
09/03/07
You really had me going there! Great job--and to think my heart was pounding over a SPIDER! Thank God for understanding husbands. :-) Hugs!
09/04/07
Arachnophobia at its finest! You had me going there for a minute, and I was so freaked out when her husband came home. I wanted to warm him myself. Funny. :o)
I don't like spiders either, but I'm not terrified of them. But you showed well what happens when we are. The revealing of the identity of the intruder was a cute change.
09/04/07
Very funny -- and hits way too close to home. Compelling writing throughout. Nice job with the topic.
Oh my, you got me too. I thought someone had broke into her home. lol Great telling of a phobia that hits way too close to home for me!