The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/31/07
I really like the relationship between your two characters; it's quite real.

I wish you'd established your alternate world earlier in the piece. Coming as it did halfway through, it jars a bit. And there are several places where you switch tenses, easily edited.

Really great allegory; I'd have enjoyed reading more about the religious/political aspects of your world. Fascinating!
08/31/07
Great story. The beginning grabbed me, and the characters are quite beleiveable.

I liked the progression of building up suspense, then revealing and relieving the major issue of the betrothed's faith at the end.
09/03/07
I liked this a lot. I especially loved how you made it feel like it was taking place in the modern day, until you brought in the "intergalactic" part. I thought that was an interesting "twist."

I noticed it says "half and hour" instead of "half an hour" but that's all I noticed.

Great job, and great "out of the box" (Or should I say "out of the galaxy?") thinking!
09/03/07
This is very interesting. Great job.
09/03/07
I went through a phase when I read everything scifi or fantasy I could find, but I haven't read it much in years. I think your story is good-and it wold be interesting to read more about this world.
09/04/07
The sci-fi took me by surprise, but it definitely worked! Your characterization is absolutely excellent, Sara. Great job.
Informative story. Not being learned in history, I always enjoy reading what others have searched out.
09/05/07
Very interesting interaction and dialogue between Carly and her nurse! The sci-fi twist was unexpected but creative, and I liked the ending! Good job! :)
09/06/07
Very well written. The relationship between the characters is priceless.