The Official Writing Challenge
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The descriptions are so beautifully done in this excellent story. Until I saw the "berries," I wasn't sure if I was in Eden or not. This is a great take on "fearful."
08/31/07
Excellent story! I too, thought that we were in the Garden of Eden — you did very well leading us "down the garden path" so to speak, in maintaining the mystery. And you kept us wondering if there were going to life-threatening consequences right up to the end. Very well done. Your conclusion wrapped up in that last line is perfect.
09/02/07
Wow, your story really put the account of Adam and Eve in the garden in a whole new perspective! I can now imagine the sorrow God felt when He knew humanity had brought death and pain upon themselves and all people from then on. Great descriptive story from beginning to end.
09/05/07
Oh wow. Stunning in its beauty and symbolism and detail. I kept thinking I knew what this story was, and then doubting, and then knowing, and then doubting again. Masterfully done.
09/05/07
Fantastic writing and a wonderful journey to read. Very creative POV. Good job.
I'm not sure which was better - realizing it was Eden, or realizing later that it wasn't! Such plot shifts make for truly engaging reading; I enjoyed this immensely.
You told this in such a refreshing and unique way. I loved the plot shifts too. Wonderful writing!
09/05/07
Wonderful job with this gorgeous, terrifying, extended metaphor. I love it!
09/05/07
You are a description queen!! This struck fear into this mother's heart--great job! I could see this so clearly!!
You knew just how to lead me down the wrong path, didn't you? This was lovely, and meaningful, and just SO good. Five stars from me.
Oh very, very creative and clever. I really thought for a moment we were in the Garden of Eden. I thought, is she really writing from God's POV? Then it was her children, not Adam and Eve. Wow! So great. I loved it. Congrats on your EC!
09/06/07
Mid! Congratulations on this beautiful story-yay!!
I could picture everything and loved it. What a tereffic way of weaving a Biblical story (and principle) into a contemporary life setting.
Great job!
09/07/07
Congratulations on your EC. Your writing, as always, is beautiful. You have a magic way with words.