The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/24/07
This is a very believable portrayal of the panic one can experience when disoriented. Well done and on target for this challenge topic!
08/24/07
Love the title you came up with, and the deft way in which you captured this poor woman's panic and frustration. I've worked with people with a TBI, and this is exactly what it seems to be like. Nicely done!
Your character is so believeable you want to help. The story is very enlightening.
08/25/07
Boy, I was glued to this story from the first sentence! The characters are very realistic and the feelings of the MC are very strongly felt by the reader. Entertaining and informative entry.
08/25/07
Well done, descriptive, and held by attention throughout. Good use of words and vivid panic attack.
08/27/07
Good writing here and what an understanding husband.
08/28/07
Excellent description - especially of the MC's frustration. This is wonderfully told.
08/29/07
Excellent writing. Very good description of her confusion.
08/29/07
Very good! You put me right there with the MC - very well done.
You painted confusion perfectly with words. I could so feel exactly what the mc felt. Confusion is NOT a happy feeling, and you expressed that perfectly.
08/29/07
Great writing! Good retelling of a scary situation. Keep up the good work!
I felt the confusion. This line: <<<“A lot of shimmering cars all swirling together … like a kaleidoscope.>>> brought back memories of the accident we were in... that's exactly what I saw after it happened. You told this very well.
08/29/07
You certainly nailed a panic attack! This was so real, Liked the patient voice (her husband) guiding her through the 'fog' and how she finally made it to a street she knew. Good job. ^_^