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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Confused (08/16/07)

TITLE: Lost
By
08/21/07


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Lost

Tears roll down her sunken cheeks
Sorrow falls from all she seeks
Memories
“Where have they gone?”

Silent weeping, full of dread
Photos stand beside her bed
Treasures
No longer mean a thing.

Recollections of a lifetime friend
She cannot comprehend
Inquires
“What was her name again?"

Recounted images, shapeless faces
Times past gone, she embraces
Snapshots
Inside a puzzled mind.

Unsure of the man beside her lies
Sleep won’t come to heavy eyes
Confused
“Why can’t she remember?”

Dark hours bring loss and sadness
Barely surviving utter madness
Loneliness
Within a baffled mind.

Laughter echoes through the day
Someone brought a big bouquet
Mystified
“Who was that nice young man?”

Foreign words, befuddled identities
“How can she speak obscenities?”
Misunderstood
Unable to say things clear.

Caring physicians calm her protests
Guide her through painless tests
Frustration
“Why can’t she tell the time?”

Rejecting yet one more embrace
To just become another face
Heartache
Mirrored in her children’s eyes.



This poem is dedicated to those who suffer from dementia and for family members who find themselves - forgotten.



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This article has been read 891 times
Member Comments
Member Date
terri tiffany08/23/07
Very nicely done:) Your poem evoked feelings - and thoughts and that's what we want it to do:))
Jesus Puppy 08/23/07
Losing a loved one is a tragic thing, but to sit by as they lose themselves while still living.. Such sorrow truly shows the topic in having to deal with the confusion of losing ones mind, memories, knowledge of loved ones. Very well done in so few words. Excellent job.
Valora Otis08/23/07
This is a perfect description of the subject you've written about. On topic too. I also feel that anyone with a long term, chronic illness can relate to the entire poem. This touched me deeply. I've been there. I love the format and the words you conveyed. Excellent writing!Bravo!
Joanne Sher 08/24/07
I started out not liking the format, but as I progressed through the poem, I grew to love it. The images are very strong. You came close to bringing me to tears (which is pretty uncommon here). Very evocative writing. Wish I could be more helpful, but I can't find anything specific (or general) for you to improve on.
Joy Faire Stewart08/24/07
You have a gift with words and you used them masterfully in this poem...very touching piece.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge08/24/07
You brought the reader right to the heart of the illness and its progressive effects in just a few stanzas. Unique style and perfect presentation. Blessings! Angel
Janice Cartwright08/25/07
Very beautiful. We must strive to keep our elderly loved ones' dignity intact in our actions, our words, our thoughts.
Pat Guy 08/26/07
Oh wow! This is absolutely spot on! The suthor nsiled it all - format, content, and message.

This is beautifully done and tragiclly so real.

I loved it.
Esther Gellert08/27/07
This is beautifully written but brought tears to my eyes as I think of specific friends and family who are going through this right now.
Jan Ackerson 08/27/07
I love the structure! In a week when many people took a similar approach, this unique and creative poem stands out from the rest. So, so sad...
Julie Ruspoli08/28/07
This is just wonderful. Such an interesting poem, I love the paragraph structure with the single word in the third line. The explanation of her confusion is perfect. Great poem.
Dee Yoder 08/28/07
Oh, this is so touching. And could only be written by someone who knows the pain of this terrible disease. Thanks, dear friend, for writing this moving poem. It's very loving and respectful of the MC, and brings the sadness of her illness into the heart of the reader.
Rhonda Clark 08/28/07
This is a wonderful tribute. I had a friend who suffered mini strokes and found herself feeling the way you desribed. You did a wonderful job.
Beth LaBuff 08/28/07
You did an excellent job with the poetry. Your entry is very touching. How sad, humanly speaking, is it to find a loved one in this situation. Beautiful work!
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/28/07
This is a powerful poem with just the right word choices and format. The last line says it all.
Linda Watson Owen08/28/07
So beautifully done! You've truly captured the experience so many are imprisoned in. You've painted a dark picture of an excruciating disability...the loss of mental acuity. This poem is powerful, poignant, and heartbreaking...just as it should be. Wonderful poem!
Betty Castleberry08/28/07
Such a sad place to be. You've captured the confusion of this woman well. I like the format.
Marilyn Schnepp 08/28/07
From the looks of it, you don't need a critique from me; however - it is haunting, melancholic and very deep in meaning; but truthfully I don't know much about dementia. But from the critiques...it appears you hit the nail on the head. Thanks for asking. I'm honored.
George Parler 08/29/07
Wonderful writing on a sad glimpse of real life. Very unique structure. Well done.
David Butler 08/29/07
Sad but beautiful. A bit close to the bone for me. I saw my father go down that road after a tragic event, then another tragedy cut his life short.
Lynda Lee Schab 08/29/07
This piece is nearly perfection (in my humble opinion). Such a sad but beautiful poem. My mother-in-law is in early stages of dementia. It's so tough for everyone involved and you captured that expertly. Writing-wise, I loved the format and the phrasing - which could have been predictable but was not at all. Superb!
LaNaye Perkins08/29/07
This is so beautiful and very sad at the same time. I loved it.
Kristen Hester08/29/07
This is masterful. Great writing. I was emotionally connected from the beginning.
Trevas Walker08/29/07
Your entry fits the topic well, and your poem is very well written. Great job.
Brenda Welc08/29/07
So much said in so few words. This was a wonderful poem sure to touch the hearts of many. Thank you for sharing this.
Patty Wysong08/29/07
Wow. You really captured the emotions with this. The form added to it, too. Wonderful job.
Sara Harricharan 08/29/07
This brought tears to my eyes. So much emotion, the one word sentences said so much. I think this is one of your best yet, Aunt Chrissy! Awesome job! ^_^
Loren T. Lowery08/29/07
Loved the way you presented this topic (dementia)...somehow putting it in poetic form causes it to be embraced and understood more fully.
Ann FitzHenry08/29/07
Very, very touching. I wouldn't change a thing. You have spoken to my heart.
Laury Hubrich 08/29/07
Wow! Chrissy, great job on showing utter hopelessness and confusion.
Venice Kichura08/31/07
WOW! Chrissy, this touched my heart! My dear 85-year-old mom suffers from mild dementia & my heart aches for her. She's not the same mom who raised me.

Masterfully crafted & anointed of God poem!!