The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/23/07
Beautiful story! The characters come alive through both description and dialogue, and one can feel the pain of the main character's experience of discrimination.

Intriguing title, too--it sparked my curiosity right away.

Great job!
08/24/07
I would love to read the "rest" of this story. It's intriguing from start to finish. I hope there will be a sequel.

And I'm glad that in glory, men and women will walk together as they once did in Eden — no turf wars, no gender prejudice.

Well done.
I was completely engrossed in the story. You can feel the MC's frustration and confusion. I like the style writing and the piece is very polished. Excellent!
I like the Sam Spade voice and "detective novel" ambience you created here. Really, really enjoyed this.
08/25/07
Good writing and attention-holding. Wonder what happens next?
08/29/07
you grabbed and held my attention through the whole story. well done. just enough of each snippet to tell the story and hold the reader. well done.