The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/23/07
This was very good. One little thing tripped me up — you slipped from third person to first person then back to third. Other than that, well done.
08/25/07
I'm thinking that the switch in pov may have been on purpose to illustrate the MC's confusion as he went in and out of lucidity. Very good writing and poignant story.
08/29/07
This was very endearing. I'm sure this must be a confusing time for those who have to deal with it.