The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/23/07
Some of this is very familiar — my father suffered from much of this same mental confusion so I could relate very well. Difficult times. One small problem — the husband started out as 55 and then was 62. Did I miss a time transition somewhere? Well done.
This was well done and is a good, encouraging article for those facing such a trauma. I, too, noticed the age difference. But other than that, this was a very good article.
You've captured well the heartache, exhaustion, and frustration when dealing with Alzheimer's disease. Your use of the AA steps is very effective in this story too. Well done!
08/24/07
This felt authentic - great descriptions especially, and character development.
08/24/07
You've got all the emotions in this story a couple would go through after receiving this diagnosis. I like the ending because I think without looking to God for help, this is a hopeless, desperate pronouncement on a marriage and a shared life.
Since you clearly showed confusion throughout this piece, it might be more effective to omit the word "confused" in some places. Great job with descriptions.
08/29/07
This is such a heart moving story and could easily be non-fiction. I thoroughly enjoyed your story. Just a suggestion on the ellipses being you have used them somewhat. A space goes before and after the dots. Using ellipses to end a sentence use four dots such as. . . . One is considered the period. Just food for thought.