The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/23/07
Great story... I loved the understanding of Grandma's anger behind her emotions.. and how Grandpa was dealing with it... Just sweet, sad, delightful and endearing... great writing..
Such talent and skill demonstrated here. I love your catchy phrases, wonderful descriptive lines, and insight into that mixed-bag phenomenon we call human nature. Wonderful writing.
08/23/07
Love the title and love grandpa too! Very well written story.
This superbly written story is a delight to read. The dialog is so authentic and the descriptions masterful.
How sad that such verses had to be included in the Bible. The Lord surely knows his own, doesn't he?
08/25/07
Your dialog is absolutely superb, as is your voice. This is absolutely masterfully crafted. (Don't change your style, my dear!) A complete delight to read!
08/25/07
So glad that Grandpa explained the Why's of Grandma's contentious personality - otherwise I was beginning to think the kid was ungrateful. Well written.
08/26/07
Your gift is storytelling at it's finest, a short one but it packs a wallop. Good job!
08/27/07
Outstanding dialogue and descriptive writing. I heard it all – I was there! The only thing that rang a wrong note for me was the continuity of the piece. Why was the boy called inside? Just to be a writer’s excuse for a rant? If for a chore, then why was this forgotten? Likewise I found it odd that the boy kept his peace until they reach the shack – wouldn’t it be more natural for him to let rip the moment he was on the road? Again this struck me as a writer’s construction rather than a natural progression to the story. But that said, I love it. Hope you do really well.
08/28/07
Felt like I was right there. Wonderfully descriptive.
Oh, I do love your style too! I could see, hear, and 'be' these wonderfully written characters. So well done! What a treat!
08/28/07
This is a great illustration from the Proverbs. Love the "Old Blue Hen" description of the Granny. :) Great writing!!
08/28/07
What a wonderful story. The dialog is perfect and the story kept me interested throughout. Very good writing.
Love the tone of the story. The descriptions made me feel I was there. Perfect dialogue. Excellent writing.
08/28/07
Wonderful title, and superb characters, and just so much to love in this gentle story.

This is entirely personal choice, but I'm not sure if present tense works for this young boy's voice. He's so down-home and real, and present tense (one of my favorite devices) is more artsy-literary.

I felt as if I knew all three of your characters, a masterful achievement in so few words. Excellent!
Great slice of life and great voice. I understand the tie-in with the topic, but I don't know how strong it is. Then again, I'm easily confused. :0) Doesn't matter, because this is superb. Reads like the beginning of a novel. I would like to see it expanded.
08/28/07
This was a wonderful read. I loved the understanding wisdom of the Grandfather and that he has something every Grandfather has and shared it with his grandchild, a quiet place. I really enjoyed this. Thank you.
08/28/07
I love this story, a lot! Enjoyed the picture you painted of each character!
08/29/07
Cute, and easy to picture. The title got my attention, too.
08/29/07
You might like Proverbs 21:9 as well. The Good News Bible version is "Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife."

Your story tells of true confusion. It's a good story but a hard story and unfortunately too often a true story.

Keep up the good work.
08/29/07
Wow! Great indepth writing here. Loved it!
I truly enjoyed this one. Impressive descriptive phrases, specifically the comparison of the position of the shack to that of an old man's open mouth. Great writing. Thanks for posting!
I so much enjoy your writng style. This story could definetly be expanded in so many directions, but I'm most drawn to the grandmother and her possible reconciliation with her son.
08/29/07
This reads like the first chapter in a coming-of-age-novel. nice job, the setting and the characters. Pretty good! ^_^
08/29/07
I love this voice--it's fantastic!! Between the dialog and descriptions I felt like I was in a 3D theater. Grampa is a hoot. I loved the image of his thumb--I could see it quite clearly. lol. :-) Hugs!!
Your title intrigued me and the story lived up to its title. Great characterization.
08/31/07
Beautiful and touching story; your writing is so vivid I could smell the air and fell the heat. I can't wait for your stories so I can drink them in, pause as in another world, sign and smile as you evoke a personal memory. Bless you.