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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Confused (08/16/07)

TITLE: shadows
By gregory close
08/16/07


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Awoken by thunder,i stumbled out of bed, glancing up at the clock to see what time it was it pulsated in an eerie red flash 12:00 am 12:00 am...

Hearing a scrapping sound just outside, I rushed to the window to have a look see, in the shadows as big as life stood this humumgus oak tree: and its brislly branches were scrapping along side my house.

Confussed and a little shaken,I wondered to myself how that little five foot sapling I planted at noon could turn into a thirty foot tree in
just twelve hours.

Suddenly out of nowhere a bolt of lightning struck, and the back yard lit up like a roman candle, and then for a split second I saw something In that tree.

Nestled in and among the bough's of that oak tree,looked somewhat like a tiny gathering of birds but not just our run of the mill sparrows and such, these were tropical birds,parrots minas all kinds and they started to all sing.

These birds did not sing the way birds sing, they sang the way humans sang,and the song was so beautiful it was heavenly even.

In unbelief I rubbed my eyes and waited for the next lightning bolt, to confirm what my ears were hearing and what I last saw was not a mirage,well that lighting never came and that heavenly sound faded away.

With great saddness I turned to go back to bed,and to my astonishment the bed was gone, in fact my whole house was gone!.

In that same instant, I was on a tropical island birds singing,and a sound, that very same sound I heard from that oak tree radiated from this little church, craddled in a sea of grass,and palm trees that gentley swayed to that heavenly sound.

Confused no more I was in paradise,when suddenly this horrible noise rang in my ear, and a voice uttered these unforgettable words.

Good morning every one,it's a cold one out there this morning, get a early start, we had twelve inch's of snow over night and those wind shields will need scrapping.

Balancing my thoughts and gaining my senses, I came to the conclusion that that all i did was press the snooze.
parrots


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This article has been read 396 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Janice Cartwright08/23/07
Very creative and imaginative, but a spell check and final go-over would have improved an otherwise rather unique piece.
Jacquelyn Horne08/24/07
Never press the snooze! It only serves to confuse! Good job.
Dave Wagner08/27/07
Well, you sure nailed "confusion," that's for sure. The "stream of consciousness" style is a difficult one to master. If that's what you're angling for, then good luck in your quest. As for this piece, I just don't know what to make of it. Structure, punctuation, word choice, flow...it just screams "rough draft" to my unsophisticated self.