The Official Writing Challenge
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It's easy to stand on a certain side of the fence so long as our perspective remains objective. Perspective can change though when it becomes a heart matter. Thanks for bringing a problem of mammoth proportions up close and personal.
08/23/07
This is a very compelling read. Great descriptions.
This is an interesting account of God protecting. I would like to understand a little more of what actually happened here. How did the woman come into posession of the truck? etc. But it is right on target for the topic.
08/23/07
A message needing to be heard. Sometimes we are too quick to condemn those who, suffering persecution or hunger, seek a better life. That doesn't condone breaking the law, but knowing how expensive it is to do these things legally, and all the paperwork involved, it's often impossible for the really needy to make a new life in another country. I suspect that we practice forms of discrimination in our immigration policies that should be condemned.

Now I'll get off my soapbox!

Other than some language (Spanish language) problems, nicely done.
08/23/07
I also suspect that some of the illegals being transported don't fully know the deep water they're jumping into when they take this kind of dangerous ride. The MC in your story, for example, seems very naive for her age. Maybe a combination of greed and politics on both sides of the border lead to scenarios like the one depicted in your story. Great descriptions of the MC and her fears!
08/25/07
A really gripping story, the characterization and depictions paint a vivid picture.
08/25/07
Nicely written...love the model that Jesus hears and answers all prayers in any language.
08/27/07
Technically, it's well done. Good word choices, economical, shows polish and attention to detail. I liked this line: "the springs forgave her action..." Topic-wise, I give you kudos for posting on such a controversial topic. Personally, it's hard for me to sympathize with her - illegal immigration is a burr under my saddle, and I'm of the opinion (at this point in my life) that regardless of how perilous the journey is, there is a right, legal way to enter the country, and a wrong, illegal way. If I were writing the sequel, I'd have her caught and sent home. That's a happy ending to me.
I enjoyed reading this story from your MC's point of view.

I was confused at the beginning of your story. I just couldn't quite picture what was happening. I did have a few other questions along the way, but I'm sure your MC was confused as well. Riding hidden in a truck has got to be frightening and confusing.

Once I got past that,I really enjoyed it. Nice job. I hope it does well. (You may have to give up your reserved spot.)
08/28/07
No matter what one's view on illegal immigration we can still feel compassion for the individual. Your descriptions and dialog of the event were very good. I liked your use of Spanish in the story. I, too, am thinking you may have to vacate 201st place. :)
I think you just wanted to make us think with this well written story on this controversial topic. Well, I've thought, and I'm still confused, dwelling between sympathy and questioning what is the right answer to the problem.
08/29/07
A very real scenerio for some trying to enter our country. While others are handed everything Americans struggle daily to provide for our families. My political two cents worth. There are so many folks from Mexico in MS now, helping rebuild from Katrina, I can sense their relief and joy to be in America working to survive and able to send money to family still in Mexico. Seeing this gives me compassion for Maria, who would gladly work to stay in America, if given the chance.
Very well written Dub, as usual, your time spent proof reading is very evident. I could picture the whole story very well.
08/29/07
Aside from the legalities (sp) of this story, it was VERY well said. Good flow. Good wording. Good everything. (I think you are your own puppy this week:))! Great job! Yeah your gonna have to give up your place!
08/29/07
Thank you so much for giving us access to this dear girl's soul. It's not about the politics, but about this human being who is surely precious in God's' eyes. Beautiful.
08/29/07
Go Maria! I was rooting for her all the way, so glad that she finally made it. A sad glimpse into real life.
Brilliant choice of topic for the prompt, dub! Strange land, strange language, her confusion and helplessness came pouring out in your writing. Thank you, I'm glad you entered this and you write wonderfully.
09/06/07
This is a gripping story. I came to thank you for leaving a comment on my "confused" entry and got to enjoy your writing, here. Thanks muchly!
09/06/07
This is a gripping story. I came to thank you for leaving a comment on my "confused" entry and got to enjoy your writing, here. Thanks muchly!
dub, this is just wonderful! What great characterization in such a few words! I'm so glad I sought yours out as I've gone back to catch up on some reading and commenting. I'd love to hear more of this story.