The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/09/07
Good story, well written.
I have a feeling that this is just a small portion of a longer work. If it's not, it should be. Very good writing. I am intriqued. Super!
A fine piece. It is very well written, and a subtle commentary on our present day inability to accept death.
08/12/07
I really liked the custodian character.
08/13/07
Wow--you created a whole alternate world and its back story in so few words, and all in the "showing". This is truly a work of art.
08/13/07
How did you do that?! How did you put so much info into so few words? I felt like I had read many pages of information instead of just one. Obviously, a great story and a very chilling tale of a future world.
Your descriptions are so vivid you feel you know the characters. Excellent writing.
08/14/07
You are the sci-fi master. :) Just excellent in every way.
This is masterful science fiction. Interesting that in this other world you created, you showed that there is great sadness for the death of a loved one, anger at the futility to save a life, and instinctive knowledge that all that happens is in God's plan.
I took this to be an allegory and the heart "defect" being a love/knowledge of Christ.
This is wonderful writing and you are certainly gifted at telling a great story with a valued meaning.
08/15/07
What a way to provide a glimpse of god in your story. Well done!
08/15/07
Well done, great conversation, and a possible picture of the future. Held my interest throughout.
08/16/07
Wow. This is an excellent story.