The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/25/05
This is so true we live our lives desiring things that we should not and really in our heart of hearts dont want yet we go on.....Thank You especially for the "Theme "GODSPEEDdeena
Great message. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you.
01/30/05
The piece and explanation both are pretty vague. Also, the transition from paragraph to paragraph is a bit too stark - it needs to flow/segue a bit better.

Also, the changes in tense are grating as well. You shift from present to past and back again...I'd pick one and stay with it.

But I appreciate your attempt, thanks for posting.