The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/09/07
This was well written from the point of view of Jonah. It's just a pity about the shift from 1st to 3rd person halfway through. That was a little distracting! You have talent though, which can be seen in how you structured the piece. You also kept my attention throughout.
08/09/07
Very well written, and emotion packed, Jonah story. The switch from his thoughts to the narration was a bit confusing - if you had italicized his thoughts it might be easier to follow. The writing is superb, tho, the story grabbed and kept my full attention. :)
There is some very good writing here. I would have liked more descriptions. What was it like to be in the belly of a whale? What did it smell like?, etc. Give me more. I enjoyed this story, though. Thanks!