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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Angry (08/02/07)

TITLE: COOL DOWN
By Tesiri Moweta
08/08/07


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The music was too loud. His mother couldn’t stand it any longer. She matched upstairs, opened his room and shouted at the top of her voice to turn the music off. He did.
“Zachary, what’s the matter with you? If you keep on like this, you’ll be deaf when you’re forty and look at your room, why is it such a mess? Sometimes I don’t understand why you act like you don’t know right from wrong. Why are you looking out the window when I’m talking you? Silence. She sighed and turned to leave the room.
“By the way Zack, you’re grounded for two weeks for coming in late last night.”
“Mum! What! I’m not a baby anymore…”
“I didn’t know you still had a voice but look here young man” she turned to face his 16 year old face, “as long as you’re under my roof, you’ll do exactly as I say, understand?”
He cursed under his breath as his mother left his room. Rage filled him and made him throw his books round causing more havoc to his already scattered room. She couldn’t care less on the surface but deep down inside, she saw signs in Zack that troubled her.
“Dear God, he’s your son too. By your Spirit, help him.” Just then, her father came in.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?”
“He’s done it again; I don’t know what to do”.
“Zack?”
“This time he threw his CD’s, books and …”tears fell from her cheeks as she tried to keep speaking but couldn’t.
“Sh…sh…It’s okay dear.” He held her close.
“I don’t want him to become a monster Dad.”
“He won’t be one, so don’t talk like that. I’ll talk to him.”
She smiled, “he always listens to you anyway.” He climbed upstairs to his grandson’s room and swung the door open and was amazed at what he saw.
“Zack! What happened!?”
“Grandpa!” Zack couldn’t hide his delight. “Mum grounded me.”
“Justly or unjustly. Tell me the truth Zack.” He patted the bed so they could both sit down.
“Does it matter? She’s already done it and I’m supposed to just keep quiet about it.”
“Is that why your room is like a civil war battle field? Did you have to break CD’s and scatter your books to say anything?”
“Grandpa,” he said lowly, “I was angry. I guess it got the better of me.”

Grandpa stood to his feet to face the window. “Anger, Zack is …..No, let me tell you a story about a certain man I used to know. Let’s just call him Mr. Anger.”
“Okay Grandpa.”
“Most people feared Mr. Anger because he was mean most of the time. When he wasn’t annoyed, he was really nice, and sweet. It was hard to believe he was the same man when he was calm. One day, Anger’s daughter aroused his temper by accidentally breaking a bottle of beer he planned to drink later that evening. Anger was mad. He yelled at her but it seemed that wouldn’t do, so he slapped her twice and paid no attention to her pleas and apology until he picked up his baseball bat and pursued her with it. The terrified girl ran for her life but slipped and fell on a broken piece of glass which pierced her left leg. The blood oozed out and Anger calmed down sober, he had hurt his little princess. She would need stitches and the wound would heal but then, she would have a scar for the rest of her life.” Zack was infuriated, “How can anyone be so cruel? What if she died?”
“Listen to me Zack, Anger and I grew up together and I’m telling you this story because turning your room upside down when angry was how Anger started out, before graduating to flinging things and then almost killing his daughter.”
“What became of him Grandpa?”
“He gave his heart to Jesus when he realized he needed help and got help. He learnt that when you’re angry, you control it and not let it control you.”
“Where is he now?”
“Zack, do you realize there is a scar on your mother’s left leg?”
Zack was stunned. “How did you…? You’re too calm to have been Mr. Anger, it’s not…”
“Hey, if you don’t control your anger, it will control you.” Zack stood up and hurried towards the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I owe your little girl an apology.” He ran downstairs shouting, “Mum! Mum!...”


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This article has been read 532 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Catrina Bradley 08/09/07
I like the plot of this story, and the ending is great. You probably need a few more paragraph breaks, and spacing between paragraphs, would make it easier on the reader, but I enjoyed reading it nonetheless. You expressed the emotions of the mother and son well.
Lynda Schultz 08/10/07
A good reminder of many important things — one of which being the importance of parent and grandparents telling their "stories" to the generations that follow. Good work.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/11/07
I agree about the paragraph breaks. You need to start a new paragraph each time a different person speaks. Having said that, your story is a an absolutely wonderful one, teaching a good lesson about anger.
Virginia Gorg08/15/07
Well written and nice dialogue. I was confused by the switch in MC - was it the mom, the son, or the grandpa? Overall, a good story - reminds me of a few people I know who "used to be" angry.