The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/10/07
Interesting story, but I would've liked more insight into the details, like what a Twilight Knight is supposed to be or why she didn't know she was guarding the king (I might just be missing something). I liked the lesson in forgiveness and not being ruled by anger, though, and especially liked your last line (forgive me...again, something I very much identify with :) ).
08/13/07
I don't know much about fantasy or science fiction, but I know I like the characters and descriptions in your story. You had my interest from the start and I wanted to stay with the story to the end.
08/13/07
Beautiful writing, as always.

The problem with fantasy, I think, is that it requires you to create a whole world, and in 750 words, it's hard for the reader to "get" the back story.

I wish, I wish, you'd been able to expand this--it's worth the effort!
Excellent writing! You have such talent. I was left with some questions. I also wasn't sure about this paragraph: "Flames burst from my hands as I feel the ropes sliding from my wrists. Heat dances about my face as my hair becomes a fiery swarm about my neck." Was she on real fire, or is this her anger? It may just be me. I can be slow at times! I liked you story.

This piece is full of top notch description.
I was a little lost in a place or two, wasn't sure what was going on. This is still very well done, though. You should consider expanding it.
08/14/07
Very descriptive. I'd also love more detail.
this is definitely a strong genre for you. I, too, was confused, but I think Jan's explaination is on target. 750 words isn't enough! Beautiful descriptions. I got the feeling of Jesus in the garden and Peter cutting off the soldeir's ear? Am I close?!
Your characters and descriptions are so strong. You have a gift for details. I would love to know more.
I agree that this is definetly your genre, however, as a reader, I would like to have had a little more background as to the situation, characters, background, etc. But, the descriptions, dialouge are top drawer.
This is outstanding descriptive writing, but I'd like to see more details also.
08/15/07
Really strong writing here, especially the descriptions. This genre definitely is your gift, you've taught me a lot!
The King is forgiving. Good pov here.
08/16/07
Powerful writing. I'd like to read more of this story.
07/21/08
Wow, you packed a lot into 750 words! Great characterization and action!