The Official Writing Challenge
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08/10/07
Good decision, one others in the same position should take before it is too late. A needed reminder, well done.
08/13/07
Sad and all-too-frequent.

I'm not sure that the switch in POV is effective here. Consider staying either in Jon's or Elizabeth's head for the whole piece. And you're a really good writer--I'll bet you can think of a way to give this commonly-told story a new twist of some sort.

You've created realistic characters, with a deft touch for dialogue.
08/13/07
I think the POV of the abusive husband is a unique voice. I agree with Jan, the switch from one POV to the other distracted me from the story for a bit. But, I like the bravery of the wife and her worry about rescuing her daughter. It's sad that too many times, the sons are already absorbing their father's ways of dealing with anger. Your story certainly fits the topic and strongly brought the destruction of this behavior to my attention!
08/13/07
Like the others, the change in POV set me back a bit. Once I got use to it, it worked ok, not great but definately ok. So often we hear there is more than one opinion, or there are two sides to every story. You gave us that valuable insight. I do think the change would have worked exceptionally well had you had several chapters to work with. The story of sposal abuse is a story that needs to be told and re-told until it finally gets through. You told this story with an air of familiarity I hope comes from a keen immagination and excellent writing skills, as opposed to first hand experience.
Great writing. I wondered why if she was going to leave him did she stand up to him and get beat up one last time? I thought she should have just agreed with him and then left when he was asleep. But this is very good. I kind of liked hearing both sides of the story. It made it interesting.
08/14/07
Very visual piece. Not sure how I feel about the POV change - but your descriptions and characterization were excellent.
08/16/07
character flaw/inconsistensy in the antagonist, but tough subject dealt with...I applaud you writing this and there is a great deal of good writing shown.