The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/10/07
I was thoroughly engrossed, but the ending left me hanging. I'd like to read the rest of the story — the first part was quite good.
08/10/07
I've never thought of this story from the viewpoint of the merchant! Yes, I can see that Satan would take an opportunity like this, and twist it for his purpose. The sudden anger your MC shows is a good way to show how he's caught in the deceiver's trap. Good story and descriptive writing.:)
Excellent writing. The details in your story are vivid. This is great!
I liked this story, it gripped me to the end. Well done!