Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
323
  
Click Here For Detailed Site Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Angry (08/02/07)

TITLE: Where Sleeping Volcanoes Cry
By George Parler
08/05/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“John, we’ve got to talk.”

“Okay.” Sensing the seriousness in the voice of his bride he folded the newspaper to put it away. After eight years of marriage he knew when to hold em’ and knew when to fold em’.

“John, I need help with our daughters. You . . .”

“Now hold on, you know I can’t stomach dirty diapers. I can handle the pee but not the poop.”

“John . . . that’s not what I’m talking about,” Mary said, giving him that, shut up and listen look. “Besides, our daughters haven’t been in diapers for almost a year.”

“Oh.” John sighed with relief.

Mary continued, “Dear, I need help with disciplining the girls. Why do I always have to be the heavy? I get on to them and they run to you. And what do you do? Protect them from me.”

“Mary, you know what you’re asking. I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“I know, I know, but you’re going to have to find a way, John. I’m tired of being the bad guy,” Mary said as she disappeared back into the kitchen.

Painful memories flooded him as his mind raced back to the scars of his life. His back began to feel warm as he remembered the blood that flowed from the cuts on his back from a relentless rubber hose. As a young boy he had heard of his friends at school being spanked on their bottom. Something he knew very little of as his discipline resolved from the back of his neck to his waist.

God, I can’t do this. What if I go too far? It would kill me if I hurt one of my angels. I can’t, I can’t . . take . . that . . chance. John thought to himself as his greatest fear reminded him of the monster he once knew could still be lurking in the shadows. Not his parents, but rather the thing he feared most: himself.

The seeds of his youth brought crops of a bitter harvest in his life that had taken deep roots. Early in his life he became violent with a very short fuse. A volcano of hate and anger would erupt with constant flow of self-destruction over the smallest tremors in his life. But his constant nightmare was that he would become his father’s son. This was why he swore that he would never become a husband and most definitely not a father. But he never counted on Mary, the beauty that would tame the beast with her love long enough to lead him to the Creator of new creations.

“John, you can start now.” Mary called out from the kitchen. “Jenny has taken crayons to the wall in her room, again. I have her sitting in her room waiting for you.”

Knowing she was right he headed down the hall to Jenny’s room. His heart was racing as he entered her room and closed the door behind him.

“Jenny, do you know why I’m here?” John asked with a shaky voice.

“Mommy said you were going to spank me for coloring the wall.” Jenny said giving him the sad puppy eyes that always made him cave in to just a hug.

“Bend over and let’s get this over with, Jenny.” A tear rolled down her cheek at the thought of her daddy giving her a spanking as she leaned over her bed.

John knelt down beside the bed and raised his hand that was shaking violently. God, help me, he prayed to himself as he brought his hand to his chest. Then once again he raised his hand and swatted her bottom three times, which barely disturbed the dust on the bottom of her jeans.

Jenny’s heart broke into tears, but as she rose up from the bed, her crying turned to a look of bewilderment. Her daddy was crying more than she was. She put her hand on the side of his face. “Don’t cry, Daddy. I’m okay. Really.” With that, she put her arms around his neck.

Later that night, Mary came down the hall and overheard Jenny saying her prayers before going to bed. “. . . and God bless Sue, God bless Lizzy, God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy. Oh and one more thing God, help me be good so my Daddy don’t cry when he spanks me. It didn’t really hurt, but don’t tell him I said that, okay? Amen.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 791 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lisa Holloway08/09/07
This is a creative take on the topic and a touching read. The title is also interesting.
Christine Dunn08/09/07
This was very well written. I like the little girl's wisdom at the end.
Lynda Schultz 08/10/07
Oh, well done! You have so many struggles and subtle lessons going on here. I liked it very much. So glad you weren't afraid to tackle the sensitive subject of spanking — which you handled with wisdom.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/10/07
You showed well how anger affects a young child, even into his adult years. I loved the sensitivity of the little girl to her father's tears.
Michelle Burkhardt08/10/07
Fantastic Story. I could feel his hands shaking. I know what it is like to fear the effects of one's childhood on the next generation. Without Christ the ugliness continues. This is a winner in my book.
David Butler 08/10/07
This is so good. Very moving - and the cuteness of the little prayer at the end really got to me. (I know it's uncool of an Ozzie bloke to say so!)
A sensitive way of tackling the "child abuse vs healthy discipline" question. Excellent!
Marilyn Schnepp 08/11/07
How can a tearjerker like this one come out of a challenge about anger?! Wow, you had me weeping; this is a great story and written so well...excellent, in fact! One can't help but be touched to the very marrow of the bone on this one - Great job - Kudos!
Jan Ackerson 08/13/07
Great title--really makes one want to read on, and your excellent writing pulls one along.
Joy Faire Stewart08/13/07
Love this story and the different twist it takes.
Kristen Hester 08/13/07
This is cute. I enjoyed the little girl's prayer at the end. Good writing!
Betty Castleberry08/13/07
This is such a wonderful story. The ending is perfect. I like that you showed the concern and fear of the MC over disciplining his children. It made him seem real. Well done.
Joanne Sher 08/14/07
So vivid and engaging. Love the ending too.
Rita Garcia08/15/07
Your gift for writing shines bright ... from the perfect title to the perfect ending.
dub W08/15/07
Wiped away a tear my friend. Several comments, if you are interested pm me.
LaNaye Perkins08/15/07
You painted the picture of a truly wonderful and loving father in this piece. You did a great job!
Pam Carlson-Hetland08/15/07
Yup - I shed some tears on this one, too. Wonderful title fully explained within the text. Excellent writing.
Loren T. Lowery08/15/07
Talk about facing your demons! Great job showing the readers the emotional turmoil this man had to go through. Your writing style made empathising with him easy. I especially liked the daughters's reaction - Perfect!
Dee Yoder 08/15/07
Oh, I love this. As a Mom who cried when I had to discipline, I can empathize with this MC. I like the little girl's prayer to be good so she won't cause her Daddy more pain. This is how we should feel toward our Heavenly Father, too. Great story!
Patty Wysong08/15/07
I can hardly see the monitor through the tears! This is great--and I loved the bit of humor! You did an excellent job showing the battle inside him. Great job!!
Jacquelyn Horne08/15/07
Loved this. Such a good story with both humor and strength.
Julie Arduini08/15/07
If the title doesn't grab you, I'm not sure what would! This started strong but by the paragraph about the youth and bitter roots, I mean wow, powerful writing. I really enjoyed this, very well done!
Joy Faire Stewart08/16/07
Congratulations and well deserved!
Dee Yoder 08/16/07
Congratulations, George, on receiving a Highly Commended for this story! I loved it. :)
Loren T. Lowery08/16/07
Ongratulations on your win, George. It is well deserved - such a well-presented message! Loren


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service