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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Angry (08/02/07)

TITLE: A Devilish Drama
By Chrissi Dunn


Warming my hands by the fire, I snort in amusement. Above me one of my favourite reality sketch shows is just about to be acted out. I drop a few more coals in, then stoke the mass of burning embers before me. Very soon, high flames begin to rise, and I lean back on my easy chair, impatient for the first act to begin.

“Hurry up!” I shout, as the intrepid actors seem to tiptoe around the set. “I don’t want to see a happy ending!”

Eventually, Destroyer and Deviant open the bonnet, stick a pair of pliers deep into the engine, and an almighty bang lets rip.

“Ha!” I laugh in wicked glee. “That should do it!”

The scene switches to the entrance of an old people’s home, where Despair has already done a pretty good job. Mr. Sinclair sits waiting there, passively watching as nurses walk past from one room to another. A - dare I say it - Bible (the very word makes me shudder!) lies open in his lap. I snigger though, because at least he can’t read it now that his sight has gone! My pleasure is short lived however, as some irritating little voice reminds me that he has committed most of it to memory anyway.

And now - what’s this? Deceit and Disillusionment are standing right outside the door, just staring in at him. Why can’t they just go in? My blood begins to boil as I realise that the goody-two-shoes-brigade have got there just before them. A blinding halo of light, invisible to Mr. Sinclair surrounds the well-worn arm-chair. No wonder those two are locked out! I shout insults at them, as they just stand looking helpless.

“Well, duh!” Disillusionment replies cheekily. “We don’t have permission to go any further.”

Oh yes - Permission! I seeth as I watch the old man bask in content. It’s always there to remind me that authority isn’t ultimately mine. Why do I always have to ask to torment my victims? I shake my head at the two bumbling idiots standing out in the rain. Yet, they seem to stare back at their master questioningly.

I shove the poker into the fire with venom, knowing that the angels are there to stay. It has happened all too many times before. Just when we thought we were getting somewhere….

Hold on! What’s he doing here? I stamp my feet and shake my fist in rage. How could I forget that Johnny always gets a lift with Aaron on Thursdays? Not only has he got here, but he doesn’t even know that his car has broken down. That means that he’ll still be in a good mood! Why do my plans always backfire? I kick over the coal bucket.

“Hello, Grandad.”

Mr. Sinclair’s face lights up at the sound of Johnny’s voice.

Both grandsons exchange greetings with Mr. Sinclair, then talk about the weather for some time. They continue to talk about school and their part-time jobs. Good! I hope they don’t notice what’s sitting in his lap. I can barely watch.

Sooner or later, they do.

“I see you’ve got your Bible there, Grandad.” Aaron lifts the black book full of bookmarks.

“Would you read it to me, please?” Mr. Sinclair asks. “Perhaps you could take a Psalm.”

I take a step forward, as Aaron flicks through the pages. Perhaps a little distraction will do the trick. Maybe if his mobile phone were to buzz….

Aargh! Just as I reach the scene, the chain around my ankle tugs. I can’t go any further! This scene is one that is out of bounds. Writhing in fury, I glare at Despair, who is now cowering in a corner, and those two dopes, Deceit and Disillusionment have fallen asleep outside. It’s more than I can take, so I cover my ears, and close my eyes. Yet I cannot drown out the awful sounds I hear.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills -” Aaron begins. “Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber.”*

The curtain closes with a prayer offered up by all three, and the only applause to be heard comes from the gallery, where all the angelic hosts sit. I curse, as I am reminded again of my weakness. The script had never been mine to change.

*Psalm 121: 1-3 (NIV)

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This article has been read 1090 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 08/10/07
Ohhhhhhhh, I love this. It's not only well-written, but I am so happy to see a fundamental truth being highlighted — the devil can't do anything without permission! GOD IS SOVEREIGN OVER ALL — in heaven, on earth, and under the earth. Thanks for making my day!
Ed VanDeMark08/11/07
A bit of C.S. Lewis Screwtape Letters here. Written from the perspective of the devil. Good points, good point of view, both make this a good read. I like your story. Watch the over use of "have", "has" and "had". They are difficult to get rid of but when you do, it will strengthen your writing.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/13/07
This is excellent writing. You have done an outstanding job with the personification of the devil's henchmen. I'm thankful that you showed a boundary he can't go beyond.
Sherrie Jackson08/13/07
I really enjoyed this! I especially like how all the demons' names started with a D - just a nice added touch to a great drama. Great job!
Jan Ross08/13/07
Wonderful! My thoughts were similar to Lynda's ... in fact, these sentences really stood out to me: "Oh yes - Permission! ... It’s always there to remind me that authority isn’t ultimately mine. Why do I always have to ask to torment my victims?" Very well done. I love the ending, too. Great job! :)
Jan Ackerson 08/13/07
This is very visual--the devil poking around in the fire as if it were a television...very well done!
George Parler 08/13/07
Excellent view into the unseen drama that takes place around us everyday. This was a wonderful read. Good job!
Joy Faire Stewart08/13/07
Wonderful illustration that God is in control and the Word of God is ever before Satan.
Dee Yoder 08/13/07
This really touched my spirit because it gave me hope for my Dad in the nursing home. I feel despair when I go there and see him, again, drugged to a stupor. Next time, I'm going with the strength and hope of the Lord. I'm so glad I read this story tonight! I can't wait to glance around for the angel's glow.
Catrina Bradley 08/13/07
Great piece - I could feel the heat of the fire and the anger of the devil (hee hee, that made me happy). Thanks, I enjoyed it!
Betty Castleberry08/13/07
So very well written and imaginative. I love the names, too. Well done.
Kristen Hester08/13/07
Ohhhh. This felt so good to see the Devil's defeat. Great job.
Joanne Sher 08/14/07
Great job of character development - I LOVE this!
Leigh MacKelvey08/14/07
All of the above and the last line was realllllly good! Very visual piece.
Pamela Kliewer08/14/07
WOW - this is fantastic! You did a great job depicting evil and I really liked how you gave the enemy a voice. The ending was powerful. Thank you for writing this.
Loren T. Lowery08/15/07
You write with a wonderful sense of atmosphere that captivates and hold the reader throughout the story. And the message, was right on point even as the curtain fell.
Kristen Hester08/16/07
CONGRATULATIONS on your first place win and making the EC list! Way to go!
Bonnie Way08/16/07
Congrats - excellent story!
Dee Yoder 08/16/07
Congratulations! First place and an EC-Yay!!
TJ Nickel08/16/07
Extremely creative, way to get into a Masters-loaded Top 10. Congrats!
Seema Bagai 08/16/07
One of my favorites for this week. Wonderful!
Jacquelyn Horne08/17/07
Congrats on your win! Spell check alone is not enough. I think you meant "seethe" instead of "seeth". (typo probably) But, I do like to see the devil angry.
Janice Cartwright09/13/07
I loved this too: the way you gave us a glimpse into the unseen spirit world where a NO CONTEST battle has already been won. To coin a hackneyed phrase - its all over but the shoutin'!