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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Angry (08/02/07)

TITLE: A Diatribe on Imagination Convolutants
By Glenn A. Hascall


(With apologies to Andy Rooney)

Do you know what really makes me angry?

Movie sequels.

After all, do filmmakers really believe I need or even want them to fill in all the details?

This summer there are at least four film series that have their third installment. Oh, sure if you clutter the conversation up with the money they make on these films it would seem like a good idea to produce them. You know, the world just doesn’t have enough ogres, pirates, wall climbing super-heroes and assassins with amnesia. We could all use a few more of those. Don’t you agree?

Then again we needed more boxing movies starring a guy that likes to yell, “Adrian,” right?

Hollywood refuses to leave anything to the imagination these days. I remember a time when I could go to the theater and leave with a wonderful feeling of ‘happily ever after’ and consider for myself what happened after the credits rolled. I could even refuse to consider what happened; after all it was just a movie, and there would be a new one next week.

Do you know who I blame? Music videos.

What was wrong with being able to listen to a song and make it personal? Why don’t people today say, “Oh, they’re playing our song”? Because no one has their own song anymore. One viewing of the video and there is a story line and people associated with the song. Suddenly we can’t make that song ours anymore because the music video insists we think of the song with a different association. We can’t have a role in the song because we weren’t cast in the video.

Now? Well, no one wants to simply dream like we used to. We want someone to tell us how things end or at least give us the next chapter. This is no more evident than in fan fiction. You can read any number of stories about beloved characters that may simply wish to be left alone in the confines of their own story.

And what about our own lives, we are so busy watching to see if they really are going to produce that next space epic that we forget to live. Now, that’s regrettable. You and I, well, we don’t get a sequel so we have to make the best of what we have because next on the agenda is eternity and that will either be our happily ever after – or not.

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This article has been read 1016 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/09/07
Guessing you had a blast writing this! It gave me quite a few giggles - and I LOVE your last paragraph.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/09/07
You have some delightful sarcasm in your diatribe. The last paragraph concludes it excellently.
Betty Castleberry08/10/07
This is entertaining. I have trouble remembering if the latest offering is Batman VII, or whatever, so I know how you feel. Good job.
Seema Bagai 08/10/07
Great piece. The ending is perfect.
Sharlyn Guthrie08/13/07
I like the conversational approach you used here. The last paragraph is a great tie-in. Only thing I would change is to put a question mark in the middle of the first sentence of that paraghraph.
Jan Ackerson 08/13/07
Great diatribe--I could easily imagine this being read aloud, and cantankerously.
Joy Faire Stewart08/13/07
Oh! this is a fun read. And, I think it's better than Andy Rooney.
George Parler 08/13/07
I don't know what a "Diatribe" is, but I bet it really hurts. (LOL)

Funny read an a great point. Thanks for sharing this.
Dee Yoder 08/13/07
Funny and true! Sequels usually ruin the fun of the first movie.
Catrina Bradley 08/13/07
I couldn't help but hear Mr. Rooney's voice reading this in my head. Very nice! :)
Mariane Holbrook 08/15/07
You've indeed watched too many Andy Rooney segments. LOL. Loved it! It had all the earmarks of a man waking up to distilled Drano coffee, the morning paper all wet and on the roof, thanks to the good aim of the paperboy, and everything's either Roosevelt's fault or the fault of that idiot on the town council. What a fun piece. I bet he's still fuming! Great visuals. Loved it.
Julie Arduini08/15/07
I don't think any apologies to Andy are needed, this was quite a compliment to his work. I loved it.
Kristen Hester08/15/07
Yes,I could picture Andy Rooney saying these things...except for the last line. And the last line was my favorite. A shorter version of this would be a great intro to a sermon. Very nice.
LaNaye Perkins08/15/07
I love the witty sarcasm in this piece! Great job!
Pam Carlson-Hetland08/15/07
Loved this. Excellent. Made me smile all the way through. You (and/or Andy) speak my language.
Loren T. Lowery08/15/07
I've always liked Andy's curmudgeon wit and I'm glad to see that it's not entirely his alone. Great job!
Linda Watson Owen08/15/07
Oh, that's great, Glenn! What a super impression of Andy Rooney will that special G.H. twist! Loved it!
Jacquelyn Horne08/15/07
I don't bother going to movies, so I don't relate very well with this. And video is not my "thing". But I'm sure those who do go to movies and watch video will get "angry" with you.
Lynda Lee Schab 08/16/07
Definitely heard Andy's voice through that whole commentary. LOL I love listening to his and I loved this one. I'd definitely approach 60 Minutes about a replacement. Great work!