The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/09/07
This was short and to the point. I love the way we get a true insight into the thoughts of the narrator. Your language is very poetic, and after reading it, I wondered if this piece would work well if it was rewritten as a poem. Keep writing!
I liked your word choices and your comparisons very much.
08/10/07
Yes, I like the imagery here and a great message. Lots of potential. Keep at it.
I could hear the speaker's pain. I too think this would have worked as a poem.
08/10/07
You have a good message here, and I enjoyed reading it.
I liked very much your analogies in this story. I would like to read this reworked as a poem. Good work!