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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)

TITLE: For Want of the Cerulean
By JJ Jones
08/01/07


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“This is the one thing that I know. This is all I know how to be.”

The rain began softly at first with small little drops tapping on the ground. The founts of the skies then opened, and the few tiny drops turned into a thousand hard splashes all around. A thick gray curtain of rain enveloped everything; it was impossible to see more than a dozen or so feet ahead.

You don’t have to stay. You can go.

The man’s dusty-blonde hair was drenched and pressed flat against at the top while water streamed off the sides of his head and down his neck. His clothes were soaked to the skin from the relentless downpour. Hundreds of tiny droplets covered the lenses of his glasses, breaking up the world into a kaleidoscope of fractured gray pictures.

“I can’t leave. I don’t know how to do this by myself.”

Thunder continually crashed in the sky above, joining the pounding of rain upon the ground. He could hardly hear anything else above the cacophony.

You don’t have to feel alone. You’ve NEVER been alone.

The One in the Rain slowly appeared at the edge of visibility through the rain, his dark features barely visible. Stretching his hand toward the man, it was impossible to tell what the One in the Rain was wearing, though his sleeve was a brilliant white.

Let me come with you.

“It won’t work. I have to stay.”

Let me help. Take my hand.

The man took a step forward, and thunder pounded again from the skies and rolled off into the distance. He cringed and hesitated.

“It won’t work. It won’t.”

I promise you, it will. Please, take my hand.

The man took another step, and thunder crashed again. He closed his eyes and stretched out his hand toward the One in the Rain. He took another step. And another.

“I’ll end up here again. I know I will.”

But if you do, you won’t be alone.

And another step. The man didn’t know how many more steps it would take, but less than halfway there; he felt the One in the Rain’s hand and squeezed tight. It was rough with an indention in the palm.

It will be better now.

The rain ceased its persistent downpour, and cerulean skies emerged from behind the fleeing clouds. Bright lays of warm light bathed everything all around, and the One in the Rain smiled at the man.

I will make it better for you, my child.


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This article has been read 483 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W08/03/07
Not sure the theme is complemented in this piece which is filled with detailed description and a predictable twist. The purpose and plot were clear and it was an interesting read.
Marty Wellington 08/05/07
Yes, quite intriquing entry with a wonderful title. Also, not sure it hits the topic, but well done nonetheless.
Catrina Bradley 08/05/07
A very powerful article. So much atmosphere. I was taken away to the world of your MC. Great job.
Dee Yoder 08/05/07
Good story and wonderful descriptions!
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/06/07
I thought the description was very good to set the mood in this story, and the description of the MC in the rain was outstanding.
Lisa Holloway08/07/07
Nice title and good descriptive writing.