The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
08/03/07
What an inventive take! I was afraid they would be distracting, but the camera directions were quite helpful and effective in setting the mood. Where do you come up with ideas like this? This was an absolutely heartwrenching tale.
This certainly deserves praise and top-notch awards for its director, producer and creative writer. The atmosphere was like a film noir and seemed to fit the piece perfectly. Great job!
08/03/07
Brilliantly told... and very heart wrenching. Loved the director camera idea... also happy the ending was not what we had feared..!
You've written a wonderful short screen play.
08/04/07
Very interesting! A unique way to write your story and make your point.
08/05/07
Super, how you made us care about these characters in such a short piece.

I'm curious as to why you chose to write it as a narrative rather than as an actual screenplay, in drama form. Might be even more effective that way...more visual. Something to consider.

Super characterization and plotting.
I'm so glad you experimented. This is great. I love movies and could just picture everything so clearly. Geat job. Experiment = success!
Yes, what a refreshing experimental approach! You've given us something to chew on! ;-) I think the camera directions give this story a timeless quality actually, rather epic in feel. I get a flavor of Greek tragedy here without the tragic ending. Thank you 'sir' for stretching and letting us enjoy! ;-)
I enjoyed this unique approach. Great job of characterizing the kids, too. Thumbs up for this well done piece.
08/06/07
A very heart-wrenching tale. I was a little distracted by the camera direction, but it did make me look at the scene like the writer wanted it looked at, and was effective. Love Tabitha reading Psalm 23 at the same time her mother is reciting it. Enjoyed your entry a lot.
08/06/07
Creative! Brilliant! It works! This is why you are in Master's!
When I grow up I want to write as good as you! This was really awesome.
08/08/07
And you manage to outdo yourself once again! ^_^ I think this is one of your best and certainlly a favorite of mine! The constant action and suspence fits even though the story is sad. I loved Tabatha-or Tabitha? I think there were a few typos there. But good job!
08/09/07
Very creative and innovative.