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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)

TITLE: Haiku - Dolls
By Helen Paynter
07/31/07


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Haiku - Dolls

A lament for the named and un-named women who have fallen victim to evil men. Murdered, mutilated, raped, enslaved: their agony climbs to heaven. And is heard.

Hagar

Requisitioned womb –
Bitter slave of owners’ drive.
Cheap commodity.

Jephthah’s daughter

Sixty days to weep –
Floods the hills with virgin grief.
Child of folly's vow.

The Levite’s concubine

Nameless surrogate –
Slain by cowardice and vice.
Useful still, though dead.

Michal

Voiceless toy of kings –
Expediency’s puppet.
Pass-the-parcel wife.

Tamar

Meat to Amnon’s greed -
Tossed aside like well-chewed bones.
Ruined, loveless, lost.

The others

Hundreds, thousands more –
Suburb, slum or throne-room bound.
Lust and power’s dolls.

Come, Lord Jesus, come –
Sound the note of Jubilee.
Dry your children’s tears.

No more mourning, then –
Banish weeping, death and pain.
Come, Lord Jesus, come.


Read, and remember them:
Hagar: Genesis 16
Jephthah’s daughter: Judges 11
The Levite’s concubine: Judges 19
Michal: 1 Samuel 18, 2 Samuel 3
Tamar: 2 Samuel 13


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This article has been read 914 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/02/07
I literally got goosebumps reading the last 3 haikus here (or is the plural haiku?) These are great--I love the form--and your word choices within such a constricted structure are superb. But even more than that, the heart is tugged by these; I found myself wanting to comfort these women, long gone. Perfect.
Dara Sorensen08/02/07
Simply amazing! The art of haiku is very hard to master, but it seems you've done it here ^_^
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/02/07
You used so few words to say so much and capture so much meaning. Wonderful poetry.
Joanne Sher 08/03/07
Absolutely excellent - Haiku is certainly powerful when done well - and this is done MORE than well!
Loren T. Lowery08/03/07
Beautifully done and an eloquent discourse on a sad reality.
Lynda Schultz 08/03/07
What can I say but, WOW! This is wonderful, and the message, interestingly expressed at the beginning as well as at the end, touched me. Great!
valerie chambers08/03/07
This is awesome
Dee Yoder 08/04/07
This is a sad account of each of these women. Interesting and emotional writing!
Allison Egley 08/05/07
This was amazing. I saw this while doing word counts, and thought it was such a unique form to use for the challenge! You summarized and caught the feelings so well for using so few words. Great job.
william price08/05/07
Bravo!! Standing Ovation. Expertly presented with passion, creativity, technique and message. God bless.
Linda Watson Owen08/05/07
I've never seen the haiku structure as versatile and moving as you have made it here! A truly sad subject but a wonderful work! Masterfully done!
David Butler 08/05/07
A grim but powerful lament - almost like an ancient Celtic triad. Strangely uplifting. I've never related to Haiku form until now.
I wonder if a less modern expression could be used for "pass-the-parcel wife." To me it detracted very slightly from the majesty of the whole. But that's only my preference. Very creatively done.
Benjamin Graber08/06/07
This one is so sad... May God forgive us for the pain we inflict on others so thoughtlessly... This was very well written.
TJ Nickel08/06/07
Treasure this one as the author, it's perfect. thanks
Teri Wilson08/08/07
This is my favorite of the week. Absolutely breathtaking. Stunningly well-done. Love and blessings, Teri
Phyllis Inniss 08/09/07
This lament touched hearts. The Haiku form made it even more meaningful by stating so much in so few words. Well done.