The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 613 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/03/07
Oh, this is wonderful. A great story.

This is just my opinion, but I think I would have tied it back to the unfinished painting at the end. But your ending works well too.

This was creative, and I liked the idea of her finished her painting in heaven. Great job.
08/04/07
Very well done, descriptive. You have woven a man's despair into a message of hope. Well done.
08/05/07
Wonderful!

I'd have left out the asterisks, which are a bit distracting in a work of fiction. Your note at the end can just say something like "Scriptures used in this story are..."

The voice of the Lord is perfectly portrayed in this masterpiece of a story!
08/05/07
Excellent job with showing the man's anguish, and I love that she finished the masterpiece in heaven (curious if you meant the painting being what she finished up there - not how I read it.)
. Wonderful.
08/05/07
Nice opening line! Loved the story. Very well presented. God bless.
Along with sadness, you have perfectly captured strong emotions of love, faith and promise. Excellent writing.
This awesome story is one of my favorites this week. The story and the descriptions in it are excellent.
08/06/07
Wow, I remember saying those same words to God: bring him back, bring him back. Very good, and I especially like the hope in the message at the end!
08/08/07
An interesting piece -- nicely done.
This is EXCELLENT! The emotions expressed seem so real. Your writing is tops. Great, great job!
08/08/07
Loved this! Great story, I like the ending...my only note...it seemed like he was, well, screaming too much. I understand the pain, but using the tags like "He screamed, He yelled, He cried" ^_^ try to show it instead of telling. Good job.
I love the emotion in this story. Your opening is very descriptive, but maybe just a bit wordy. It doesn't detract form the message here, though. The Lord is always there, isn't he? Well done.
I apologize. I was actually reading another entry right before yours with a "wordy" opening. Yours is lovely. Sorry for the mix up.
08/08/07
The emotions are so strong here I wondered about skipping some of the beginning and getting to the gut of the story. This was so well done I felt the beginning was telling more than showing, and when you showed, you shined. This was very well done, and just my two cents. I was captivated.