If I can have your attention please, I’d like to call the meeting to order.
Fellow misery-makers, it can’t have escaped your attention that the time is running short for us to put our plan into action. You know that our esteemed Boss has been getting more frantic as the time gets closer, and he sees more and more souls slipping out of his grasp.
In short: heaven is getting ready for a rerun of the worst episode in Hell’s history and we demons have to move quickly to gather as many souls as we can, to lessen their impact.
As you may recall, we’ve had many successes over the years of history, but what the Boss wants to do is to repeat a strategy that he once employed with a soul who caused much havoc with the heavenly harvest before he decided to follow their road: Job.
Does everyone remember what we did then? That’s right: we hit that guy with every weapon in our arsenal. We killed his kids. We made him sick. We wiped out his livestock. We took away his wealth. He was wonderfully sad. I can’t think of anyone who was less able to follow the words of the Heavenly Boss, “for in everything give thanks. For this is the Will of God … concerning you”.
So this is what I want you all to do from now on, to every Christian on your list: in order for them to have the kind of testimonies that can make an impact for us in these troublesome times, we have to make them so sad that they can’t possibly find joy in their Lord.
Let me review the symptoms we are looking for: we want people whose eyes are red from constant tears. We want them to lie listlessly in bed all day – especially days when they might normally go to church. We want their prayers to be full of complaints instead of those nauseating praise songs that they usually sing. We want them to feel so bad that they run to pills instead of prayers. We want them to begin to question God’s Presence in their lives. We want them to be so miserable that their testimonies will sound like apologies. When someone asks them how they are, we want them to answer, “How much time do you have?”
What’s that? You think it may not work? You think they might still show joy? You have to be kidding. They’ll be lucky if they don’t jump off the nearest roof when some of us are through with them. After all, Who is more powerful? God, or us?
Look, I know it isn’t a master plan. Some of those Christians know about the “secret weapon” and will claim the blood of you-know-Who. If they do, you don’t have any choice but to get out of there. But as for the rest of them, bring on the sadness. It will do our boss a world of bad.
1 Thess 5: 18 Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Rev 12:11 They overcame (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony
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