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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)

TITLE: Baseballs and Eight-year-olds
By dub W
07/27/07


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Thunder rolled across the pines and rain pelted the kitchen window. The refrigerator door suddenly opened and Susan jumped in surprise. “Charlie, I didn’t hear you come in.”

The refrigerator door closed as quickly as it had opened, leaving an eight-year-old freckled-faced boy standing next to the table. “David’s leaving.” He pulled off his raincoat and set his book-bag and ball glove on a chair. “It isn’t fair.” A baseball rolled across the kitchen table.

Susan caught the ball and looked at the long face on her son and her own heart broke. “Oh, sweetie, I know that you and David are close. But, sometimes people move to other places.” I talked to Grace on Sunday, and she didn’t say anything. I wonder what’s going on.

Charlie started to walk toward the living room, but Susan caught him mid stride. “First of all, young man, I didn’t get my hug. And secondly, who told you David was moving?”

“David told me.” Charlie wrapped his arms around his mother’s neck.

“Sit down here a minute.” She handed him the ball and put his book-bag on the floor. “I’ll get you a cookie and some lemonade.” Susan stroked his hair as she passed.

Charlie plopped down on the chair and put his chin on the ball.

Something else is wrong here. She quickly put together the snack and walked back to the table.

“So, David just came up and told you that he’s moving?”

“Uh huh.”

“Where to?” Susan set a plate of cookies and glass of lemonade on the table in front of her son.

“I don’t know.” He picked up a cookie without lifting his head.

“He didn’t say anything else?”

“Uh, huh,” Charlie said, between bites.

“Okay, what else?”

“He said that he couldn’t play ball with me any more, cause he is moving. It isn’t fair cause he’s my best friend and now I won’t have anyone to play catch with.” Charlie was almost sobbing.

“Drink your lemonade while I make a phone call.” It was true that David and Charlie played ball together, and had since they were toddlers. They were like brothers and if one was missing, searchers would find both boys. There were only a handful of other boys in the church sponsored school, and David and Charlie had become inseparable. Susan picked up the phone and dialed the number of David’s parents. Grace answered.

“Grace, this is Susan Tobin.”

“Oh, hi Susan, I was thinking about you this morning. I think I’d like to join your circle, if you have an opening.”

Susan chuckled. “Oh, Grace, we’d love to have you in the circle. We meet at ten a.m., on first Tuesdays. I’ll call and remind you.” Doesn’t sound to me like she’s moving. Susan looked over at her son. “Grace, the reason I’m calling is because David told Charlie that you and Bob are moving. Charlie is really upset, so I thought I better get an official confirmation.”

The line went silent for a moment. “Oh, oh, oh, my goodness, I think I know what’s going on,” Grace laughed. “Sit down Susan, you’re gonna love this.”

“Okay, I’m at the table.” Susan listened intently.

“Well, you know that we came here from Jonesville; oh, about six years ago.”

Susan thought a moment. “Yes, I remember when you guys came to Sunday school. Charlie was in the terrible two’s stage.”

"Tell me about it," Grace laughed. “Well, we still haven’t moved our membership from the Jonesville church. So, last night Bob and I began discussing moving our membership. Bob called the minister in Jonesville to get official letters, and then he called Reverend Simpson here, and told him that the whole family would be moving our membership. I don’t remember exactly what he said; it was something like ‘yes, we are all moving’. My guess is David overhead that part of the conversation.”

“Whew, that makes sense,” Susan smiled. “What gets into the minds of little boys? But, I have a very sad little one sitting at the table right now.”

Grace interrupted. “Say, Susan. Here’s what I think we can do. I’ll explain it all to David, and then I’ll bring him over to see Charlie. What do you think? Let the boys work it out.”

“Oh, Grace, that would be so great. Thank you. And, have David bring his baseball glove.” Rain continued to pelt the window.

“Baseball glove?”


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This article has been read 739 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/02/07
The dialog, especially between the boy and his mother, was right on. I love the way you showed his emotions through his actions.
Dara Sorensen08/02/07
At first, I thought it was going to be something terrible that happened to his friend and his family to make them move, but then I was surprised by the twist ^_^ Great piece of mommy lit!
Marilyn Schnepp 08/03/07
This little story about best pals could have gone either way, topic-wise; ...Happy or Sad; but neat story that finished up well.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/03/07
You hooked me with the sadness of the little boy, and I was so happy to know he was going to lose his sadness. You did a great job with the story.
Jacquelyn Horne08/03/07
very readable writing here. Wonderful story of two little boys. You pictured it well.
Dee Yoder 08/04/07
I thought maybe something terrible had happened in the little friend's family. I was so relieved when it turned out to be a misunderstanding! A great story of friendship.
Lynda Schultz 08/05/07
What's that saying about "big ears …?" I love your story and especially that last line.
George Parler 08/06/07
Absolutely loved this. The dialog set the reader up for thinking the worst but left them pleasantly surprised. Good job!

Reminds me of and my first cousin. He and I were like two peas in a pod. Thanks for the smile.
Joy Faire Stewart08/06/07
Excellent descriptions, your reader can feel the emotion. Like the message, can't always believe what you hear. Great storytelling.
Allison Egley 08/06/07
I was hoping there would be some twist at the end, and was happy when I was right. I think next time, the parents will be more careful about the words they choose. :)
Rita Garcia08/07/07
I love a story that hooks my interest and then does an unexpected twist, and does it well. I like the way you took "sad" and made it "happy."
Catrina Bradley 08/07/07
Very cute story with a good twist. You lost me with the last line, tho - I feel like I missed something. (?) Loved the interaction between mother and son and really enjoyed your entry.
Marty Wellington 08/07/07
Nice story and liked the connection with the baseball and glove throughout.
Janice Fitzpatrick08/08/07
This is well written hon and evokes the sadness the little guy must have felt but what a relief that this story had some humor and a happy ending. I liked your last line- "Baseball glove? Keep up the great writing. God bless your day.:0)
Betty Castleberry08/08/07
At first I felt sorry for the little boy, but when I found out what was really going on, I chuckled. Really good dialogue and interaction between mother and son. This is a keeper.
Caitlynn Lowe08/08/07
Aww, nice to see it has a happy ending.
Jan Ackerson 08/08/07
A wonderful and refreshing break from so many heart-wrenching stories this week. I have a softness in my heart for little boys, and this was precious.
Sara Harricharan 08/08/07
Nice. Not bad. The happy ending was predictable, but it's nice to read something with a happier note.
Brenda Welc08/08/07
Awesome writing. I loved this little tidbit of a story from a kids "tradgedy" of the thoughts of losing a friend. Nicely done!
Mishael Witty08/08/07
Cute story - and a nice spin on the topic.

I noticed a few places where commas were missing (and some other punctuation problems), but nothing that took away from my enjoyment of the story. Thanks for sharing this!
Julie Arduini08/08/07
You definitely captured the tragedy associated with a potential change in friendship, especially with baseball buddies. This was a nice change of pace, met the sad criteria.