The Official Writing Challenge
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You have brought this retelling to life! Thanks for blessing my morning!
The story of the saddest day of John's life, but also in hidsight...the most glorious day for fallen man. The debt was paid...and we can Live. Great job.
How excellently you made us see the heart of this disciple.
Wonderful account of the days of the cross. There was much sadness there at that time.
I just so relate to your writing, mate. I was deeply moved.
My take would have been a little different. I see Jesus and John as closest friends, like David and Jonathan, but also with the Lord as John's mentor. But we see the biblical accounts through different eyes at times.
And I would have thought that a work of this calibre would have placed a lot higher, but there's always a lot of factors involved in the judging process.
Oops! My mistake. I was thinking of another article. Sorry guys! **Crawls into hole in floor.**
I like the way you got into your MC's "head." Good work.
Fears and doubts threatened to tip me over sanity’s precipice...

This is a great sentence, one of many in this strong story.
I really like the arrangement of the story, and the italicized remembrances are extremely well-written. I love it when people can give new words to familiar stories, and do so honorably.

Just a minor critique, I would try to use fewer adjectives, as in the first paragraph. Good luck!
I love this approach to the story! And your last line is perfect :)
I enjoyed this piece. Thanks for writing it