The Official Writing Challenge
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How sad. Your main character is richly described. I felt for her, and her growing knowledge that something was missing from her mother's heart.
Fine writing — I could "feel" the story and the pain, and hoped that your MC would discover hospitality is more a matter of the heart than it is of a perfectly ordered house, or a "nice" family.
Very touching. I could feel her emotions - the hope and then the humiliation. Very good.
Though externals are not the main issue here, i.e. well-apointed homes do not equal well-appointed hearts, there is a connection. It was lack of CARE that created the problem for the Hunt girl: care for family members and care enough to create a pleasing environment for them to live in. You did a fine job of connecting emotionally with your reader and the story flowed smoothly.
My own experience of friends’ homes compared to my home was very similar to this. Luckily my friends saw behind the plastic ornaments but I never felt comfortable asking them back to the house.
This is very moving and powerful piece. Masterfully wriiten. Wow.
This evoked so many emotions in me..for both girls. Of course you wished that Allison would have seen through that and been her best friend... I didn't like people coming over at that age because of dad's drinking causing lots of fights in front of us.. The empathy in this story can be relateable on so many levels.. you are a tenderhearted writer and I loved it!
Your main character is so perfectly etched...superb writing and full of empathy. Lovely.
Your characterization is wonderful, as is your portrayal of "both worlds." I definitely cared about your characters.
This was beautiful. No kidding, simply beautiful. Beyond impressed. God bless.
I felt so deeply for your MC that this was difficult to read, but I'm glad I did becaause it contains a wonderful message. Evoking this kind of emotions from a reader is what writing is all about.
Oh, this breaks my heart! A little girl desperately wanting her home to be "normal" and the disappointment and embarrassment she must have felt. You drew me in to her story and tugged my emotions.
Did someone already mention the "Wednesday" typo? (I didn't read the other comments before leaving mine). Anyway, that was about the only thing I could find to pick on about this one. Masterful to the end.
This is so sad. You did an excellent job putting us in her shoes and conveying her feelings.
This is extremely well written. I felt the pain and embarrassment with your main character. Wonderful job with this topic.
This is a powerful story written so well it swept me along with the sadness of the main character. I scould vividly see her go from hope to hopelessness.
This is perfect, right down to the title. In many ways that was my story and the absolute terror of a less than perfect experience paralyzed me. You captured the situation in an amazing way.
I have to say it AGAIN---You are just too AWESOME. One of the best I have ever read in my life. I have read thousands of books and articles but yours captivates the reader from beginning to end.If you wrote as fast as I read I fear I would get no housework done.