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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Embarrassed (07/19/07)

TITLE: Heavy object + Heavy backpack + Light body = Acrobats
By Allison Egley
07/25/07


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A famous person once said, "The world was not made for short people." Well, actually, no. It wasn't someone famous. It was just me. I've discovered this in numerous ways throughout my life, but never did the saying ring truer than in my college years.

Being the baby of the family and the only girl, going off to college was a big event for both my parents and me. They both went down to see me off and help me set up my room. With my Dad, a road trip of any length of time always includes breakfast out. After arriving in the college town, we stopped at a local restaurant. We gave the hostess our name. She looked at us and said, "Two adults and one child?" I sheepishly informed her that I was nineteen. Somehow, I knew this wouldn't be the last time my height (or lack thereof) caused embarrassment of some sort. I was right.

As I was walking to my very first class as a freshman, I met the formidable hill that connected the dorm to the rest of the campus. I said a silent prayer, hoping I could make it, and taking comfort in the fact that there was an emergency call box halfway up the hill, just in case I didn't. Thankfully, I made it up without much trouble. The only side effect was the wheezing once I reached the top. And I'm not even an asthmatic. I looked up and wondered what brilliant mind decided to put the student health center at the top of the hill. I made it down the other side safely, and was standing on the sidewalk across the building. I must have let my guard down, because the next thing I knew, I was sprawled across the sidewalk and street with my backpack doing it's best to keep me there. Did I mention that my height and weight are equally minimal? I got up and dusted myself off.

"Are you hurt?" A guy next to me asked.

"No," I quickly replied, hoping none of the people in the crowd were in my class. Not unless you count my ego, I thought.

In addition to what I learned in my math and physics classes, I discovered one equation on my own power. Heavy object + Heavy backpack + Light body = Acrobats. This one I discovered much later in my college career. I was walking into Academic. It's that big domed building that nearly every campus has. I walked up all the stairs, opened the big door, and promptly forgot about the step leading into the actual building. I tripped over the step and let go of the door. Suddenly, I was sitting on the floor about a foot from the door with the door closed behind me. The door had pushed me the rest of the way in. A guy walking past snickered at me. Why does it always have to be a member of the opposite gender that sees me in these predicaments? And why is it always a cute member of the opposite gender?

My final tale involves a boy. Again. But this time, he was about twelve years younger than me. I've decided that there should be a minimum height requirement for teachers, to save embarrassment of us "shorties." Either that, or a maximum height for students. Students should not be taller than their teacher. Especially in fourth grade. One day as I was lining up the class to go to lunch, I realized I forgot to turn off the projector and had left the remote in my desk. I walked over to the projector and stared up at it. I put my hand up in the air. I jumped. Finally, I conceded. I looked at the tallest student in the class. "Hey, uh, Brian, I can't reach the projector to turn if off. Can you get it for me?" Without so much as standing on his tiptoes, Brian reached up and turned off the projector. "Thanks," I replied, while my face turned red. As I led the class down the hall, I could hear the students snickering in the background.

Oh yes, my size has gotten the better of me many times. But most of the time, I've gotten the better of it. You see, I have the trump card. I know that my God is bigger than any of it. Thanks to that, I can laugh in the face of embarrassment.


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This article has been read 954 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 07/26/07
Embarrassing moments always happen in front of the very people you'd least like them to! I enjoyed reading your story, and was able to sympathize with your main character's vertical lack!
Seema Bagai 07/26/07
Great piece. I think the last anecdote is really about me (a vertically challenged 4th grade teacher).
Melanie Kerr 07/28/07
I can sympathise with the lack of height from a teacherís point of view! It is usually my fourth year boys looking down on me from lofty heights that tell me I need my root touching up!
Sharlyn Guthrie07/30/07
I was hooked from your first paragraph, and your humor carried the piece all the way through. I also like the summation, with just the right dose of truth and confidence to counterbalance the rest.
Betty Castleberry07/30/07
Falls...so embarrassing. This is very cute, and well written. too. The last lines tie the whole package up nicely. Well done.
william price07/30/07
Extremely cute and kept my interest. God bless.
Kristen Hester07/31/07
This is cute and enjoyable. Good job!
Patty Wysong07/31/07
I loved your humor in this! and the last lines are terrific!! :-) Hugs!!
Joanne Sher 07/31/07
Love your little anecdotes - enjoyed the conversational tone. Great last line too!
Loren T. Lowery07/31/07
I want to say the anectdotes were funny, but not at your expense as they caused you embarrassment. What a dilemna - what can I say, other than I enjoyed reading your article and getting a glimpse into the world of the "vertically challenged"
Myrna Noyes07/31/07
This piece had great humor and description! I enjoyed reading it, but felt very sorry for the predicaments of the MC! The ending was wonderful! :)
Jan Ackerson 07/31/07
Great title, great hook, great voice. This was lots of fun to read.