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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Embarrassed (07/19/07)

TITLE: Nose Picking Love
By william price


Galloping zebras, nose-picking gorillas, scrambling monkeys and sleeping lions; the zoo was filled with all of them and more. Jason Whyme, like most ten year old boys, enjoyed the nose-picking gorillas the best. He was sitting in the backseat of his parents’ sedan imitating Samson, the large captive Silverback he saw an hour before.

“What are you doing back there, Son?” Jason’s dad asked as he drove.

“Pickin’ my nose like Samson. He was neat.”

“Well, get your finger out of there. It might get stuck.”

“No way, Dad.”

“Yes way, Son. Your mother got her finger stuck up her nose once.”

Mrs. Whyme shook her head. “Please, dear, don’t tell that story.”

“Come on, Dad, please. I want to hear about it.”

“Son, I never did what your dad is NOT going to tell you.”

Mrs. Whyme shot at glance at her grinning husband.

“Son, you wouldn’t believe it, but 11 years ago when I first met your mother…”

Jason’s mom spoke curtly. “Glen, I’m warning you.”

“Okay, Claire. I won’t tell him about how you got your finger stuck in your nose on our first date.”

“Da-ad! How’d she get her finger stuck?”

“I’m warning you both.” Mrs. Whyme’s face was flush red. “If this conversation continues I’m feeding you both liver for a week.”

“Liver!” Jason exclaimed. “Yuck! But, I think I could suffer through it one time to hear this story.”

“I said all week,” the mother threatened. “And I’ll send you to school with liver sandwiches.”

“But Mom, it’s just a story of something that happened a long time ago. Were you just playing around, or really digging?”

“Enough, Jason, I’m not kidding.”

“It was at church, Son.” Jason’s dad was almost laughing.

“At church? Wow. How far? Up to your big knuckle?”

Jason’s mother quickly spun around in her seat and pointed a finger at her son.

“I did not get anything stuck up my nose. Now this conversation is over. Understand!”

“Yes, Mom.”

Jason thought quietly.

“Can I ask you a question, Mom?”

Mrs. Whyme sighed deeply.

“Is it okay to fib about something that happened at church?”

Jason’s dad laughed. His wife’s face turned a deeper red.

“What I mean, Mom, you know, with God there, the Bible, the preacher and everything. Is it okay to fib? You always told me God sees everything.”

Jason’s mother let out an exasperated gasp.

“Son, I’m not fibbing. I’m just choosing not to remember.”

Mr. Whyme was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

“Oh, you think this is funny, Glen? I think I’ll be choosing not to remember some other things for a couple of weeks, of NIGHTS.”

Mr. Whyme’s smile disappeared.

“Come-on, Claire. Let’s not overreact.”

“Oh, you’ll see overreact, Dear husband of mine.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jason asked.

“Nothing, Son,” Mr. Whyme muttered. “Story’s over.”

Claire shot a pursed grin back at her husband. “Oh, no its not.” She then turned to face Jason. “The truth is your father asked me to go to church with him one night for a special singing service. Well, he was wearing some awful smelling cologne, and lots of it.”

Jason’s dad got a little defensive.

“It wasn’t that bad and I didn’t put too much on.”

“Oh yes you did. I think you bathed in it. Anyway, Jason, the stench was making my nose itch and I got a little carried away trying to itch it.”

“Is that when you got your finger stuck in your nose, Mom? How did you get it out?”

“I sneezed.”

“Did everyone see it?”

“Oh yes, the whole congregation was laughing,” Jason’s mom said matter-of-factly.

“I did not wear that much cologne and it did not stink.”

“Glen, you did and it smelled.”

“Then why did you buy me some for our anniversary last year.”

Jason‘s face lit up. “I know, Dad. She told me it reminded her of when you first met.”

“That’s when I knew I could love you,” Mrs. Whyme spoke softly. “You were the only one who didn’t laugh.”

“What-do-you-know,” Jason’s dad responded, “I asked you out again because you laughed along with everybody else.”

“So let me get this straight,” Jason said with one eye closed. “You guys fell in love because mom got her finger stuck up her nose?”

Jason’s parents reached for each other and clasped hands.

“Gross.” Jason exclaimed. “Let’s go to the aquarium next summer.”

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This article has been read 1155 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 07/26/07
Ah, yes, the sublime memories of first love. The first date. The blush of romance. The-wait!-finger stuck up the nose?! This is the kind of story a parent does NOT want their kids to know...it's too tempting for them to tell anyone who will listen. Funny!
Lynda Schultz 07/26/07
Love it!
Sharlyn Guthrie07/26/07
Too funny! Great job with the dialogue.
Melanie Kerr 07/28/07
I loved the dialogue. It was well written and entertaining. I am surprised that the dad was able to keep on driving!
Joanne Sher 07/29/07
Oh, how much fun is this. Dialog is excellent, and I love the characterization - great folks, and so real. Excellent, my friend.
Catrina Bradley 07/29/07
Hubby made me read this out loud to him when I told him the title. We both laughed hard! Thanks - Great job. :)
Betty Castleberry07/29/07
The threats from Mom sound awfully familiar. ;0)
This was a lot of fun. I enjoyed it very much, and you did a super job with characterization and dialogue.
Kristen Hester07/29/07
This is THE winner. I love it! The beginning reference to the zoo and the nose picking gorilla grabbed me and it never let go!

The dialogue is perfect-o and realistic. I loved the line: "Oh, you think this is funny, Glen? I think I’ll be choosing not to remember some other things for a couple of weeks, of NIGHTS.” I laughed out loud.

You are a master! Great job.

Dianne Janak07/29/07
this was great.. nose pickin love needs to be the Title of the next country western hit!... you could make millions~! Fun story
Jan Ackerson 07/29/07
This story is just...perfect!!!!!
Benjamin Graber07/30/07
This is hilarious! Great job!
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/30/07
This is a delightfully funny story. The dialogue sounds like something heard in our house when the kids were little. You did a great job with the topic.
Loren T. Lowery07/30/07
Oh those crazy, embarrassing moments that somehow endear us to someone. It's got to be love, mixed with humility and forgiveness. Fun story and take on the subject.
Patty Wysong07/30/07
Oh, this is too funny!! The dialog was great, I chuckled all through this one! :-)
Lynda Lee Schab 07/31/07
Too funny! Although I can't understand the mom's embarrassment. In our house, we share gross stories without blinking an eye. Hey - they happen to everyone! LOL
Great story - had me smiling all the way through.
Pam Carlson-Hetland07/31/07
***tears running down face--snorting with laughter*** I love it! I've had conversations like that with a 10 year old AND his father. Absolutely wonderful.
Sara Harricharan 08/01/07
Oh boy, I am still laughing here. What a story! I love the dialouge-especially Jason, a loveable character. That is definitely one way to remember a first date...^_^
Valora Otis08/13/07
I think the only reason why you didn't place first, it's more hilarious than embarrassing! Even so, it's written by a gifted man. Keep this up and you had better write humor into your first book my friend. I'll buy the first copy! Thanks for making this lady smile and laugh right out loud. Sorry it took me so long to comment, I've been outa commission.