Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Embarrassed (07/19/07)

TITLE: Conkers
By Helen Paynter


It happened in the autumn of 1950. I remember as though it were yesterday…

We had come to the woods for a Sunday-school treat, a boisterous party of children bouncing on the bus’s seats with each rut in the road. Mrs Eddington, the vicar’s wife, warned us to stay in pairs.

I had never seen so many trees. I didn’t know the world contained so many trees. I took my older sister’s hand, and we set off into the welcoming cathedral of nature.

We stopped to collect conkers, possessing their plump opulence in our cupped palms, and stuffing our pockets with their glossy fullness. Above us, the leaves whispered of fading summer and the chill to come. The dew-logged grass reached caressing fingers to the bare rectangles of skin between our ankle socks and skirts.

Jamila, with the easy wisdom of ten years, showed me how to peel away the green spiky coat to reveal the mahogany nut in its case. I rubbed the conker on my cheek, its burnished coat smooth against my skin. I turned my thumb inside its newly-vacated shell, the motion rewarding me with the soothing sensation of velvet.

I was four years old, and for me, the world was still warm and golden.

We found blackberries and crammed our mouths, staining our blouses with the tart purple juice. Later, with the sun slanting through the trees as through a stained glass window, we kicked up the fallen leaves in dizzying clouds of ochre.

It was then that we first became aware of voices; harsh, jagged voices which tore into the tranquil afternoon. Jamila tensed, pulling me out of sight behind a conifer, whose needles clawed at me like witches’ fingers. I struggled with her, irritated by the sudden change in climate. She put her fingers to her lips and motioned to me to stay still. Resentful, I half obeyed.

The skirts of the tree swept almost to the ground, but there was a narrow gap beneath. Lying flat on my stomach, my skirt pockets knobbly under me, I wriggled forwards under the lowest branches to see what had disturbed my sister.

There in the clearing, a small group of girls was setting out rugs and picnic baskets. Neat plaits and prim bows announced that they were not from our part of the city. They were all, without exception, white. Dazzling, unblotted-copy-book white. Fair hair and freckles.

To my four-year old eyes, a group of new playmates had arrived. I saw no reason to slink out of sight like a timid animal. I elbowed my way forward and emerged from under the tree, ready to share in whatever game they might choose.

‘What’s this?’ A tall girl stood up, a daisy chain suspended from one disdainful finger. ‘A blackie!’

‘Come away, Jennifer,’ another shouted. ‘You might catch something nasty.’

‘Go away, blackie!’ Several of them made shooing gestures with their hands. I stood, absurdly fixed, unable to grasp their meaning.

‘Wait!’ The girl called Jennifer stopped me before I had taken a step. ‘Are you hungry?’ She opened a picnic basket and pulled out an apple. ‘Would you like one?’

I nodded and moved towards her. Whatever the earlier words had meant, this was the world once again as I knew it to be. Where people were kind and there was no need for fear. I held out my hand, tasting already the sweet crunch of apple on my tongue.

‘Hold on.’ She walked rapidly to the edge of the clearing, selecting a spot where the shade of the trees allowed the ground to remain damp. Dropping the apple in the mud, she rolled it around with her foot, finally standing on it with sharp-toed venom. I heard its crisp flesh collapse under her spite.

‘Well?’ Her stony eyes tried to draw a challenge from mine. ‘I expect you’re used to dirt where you come from.’

I looked down at the apple, fragmented on the ground. In my hand, the unforgiving spikes of a conker shell jabbed into my skin. The taunts of the girls rose and coiled around me like fey curses riding on a November storm. I turned and fled into the darkest part of the wood.

Jamila found me an hour later. I was curled in a dip in the ground, overhanging branches hiding my shame.

‘Don’t tell,’ she warned. ‘Don’t say a word to Mrs Eddington.’

I brought home more than conkers, that day.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 1426 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 07/26/07
Oh! This kind of bullying and racist taunting just makes me so mad! I feel so bad for your main character. The embarrassment she felt that day didn't belong to HER, it belonged to her tormentors. Great story, and your writing did an awesome job of drawing me into that awful day.
Lynda Schultz 07/26/07
Wonderfully written. Yes, we know who SHOULD be embarrassed.
Melanie Kerr 07/28/07
Excellent story. The description was wonderful and rich. I remember day like that – collecting conkers and eating berries. The turn in the middle of the story was expertly done and the topic more than adequately tackled.
Joanne Sher 07/28/07
You set the scene masterfully and vividly. Your descriptions are absolutely poetic - and such an amazing contrast to the awful racism and hatred displayed here. Wonderful.
Dianne Janak07/29/07
This is one of those pieces that sticks in the gut to remember for days. The pure innocence of a child meeting the pure evil of the god of this world... It makes me want to protect my new grandchildren from this kind of thinking forever... thanks for this piece.. greatly written. Dianne
Sharlyn Guthrie07/29/07
Yikes! This story is infuriating, gut-wrenching and extremely well-written, besides. You definitely know how to stir the emotions.
william price07/29/07
I wonder how I ever place in this Level. This is GREAT in every sense; from a readers perspective and that of a writer. Oh, you grabbed my innards and messed with them. I bow in awe. God bless.
Kristen Hester07/29/07
Beautiful, Troubling, Powerful. You made me feel so many emotions. You are a master. Great job!
Loren T. Lowery07/30/07
Wonderfu writing! You captured both the world's so perfectly - One left that day with more than conkers, what, I wonder did (at least one)some other bring home. My hope that is was more than the squased remains of an apple on a muddy shoe.
Great job.
Jan Ackerson 07/31/07
Oh, this little girl has stolen my heart! What a perfect narration...and I learned a new word, too--"conkers" was unfamiliar to me.

As usual, every word is perfectly chosen, for a piece that flows like honey.
Dara Sorensen08/02/07
Great story--embarassing and heartbreaking at the same time. I felt as if I was right there in the woods with the little girl, watching such a scene unfold.
Cheri Hardaway 08/02/07
Helen, your descriptions are vivid and perfect. Narration is awesome. Story is unforgettable. Congratulations on your win. Blessings, Cheri
Sharlyn Guthrie08/02/07
This story will stick with me. Congrats on your EC placement.