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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Embarrassed (07/19/07)

TITLE: A Unbareable Conscience
By TJ Nickel
07/24/07


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Seems I been embareassed so many times that I done turned into one big embareassment. Didnít think it quite possible, a person becoming a thing, but parently in all my ignerance I was wrong. Happened on account a my speriences, I spose. Spose all them moments turn into a somethin, n get so big they become a someone. Donít feel no pity for me tho, I done reconciled myself to it. The world today seems to hate them embareassin moments. People everywhere seem to run off doin all sorts a stuff without a conscience. Iím reconciled to havin myself a unbareable conscience. So much so, I done learned to spell that word real good.

My grammar ainít the best. Iím sure ya done noticed that by now, but thereís a tickular reason for that. See, I done gave up on that schooling peoples go to all the time. Was years agoÖ

I done learned about that Columbus feller - how he turned a embareassment into a great thing, landing at the wrong place n all. I learned he made a great discovery - this land here called America. He was very fortunate cuz there was just some backward folk runnin round half-naked like they was beasts or somethin - n was a good thing dear Columbus showed up to teach em new things. Then, them beasts turned on good ol Christofer n his fellers n manyíve em died. Bein the good people we Americans are, we set em aside for their own protekshun in these little places where they wonít cause no one no harm. Thatís the way I dun learned it n I thot, well be, Godís creating new stuff all the time n givin things like whole countries to them people brave enuf to cross oceans for him. Them teachers smiled at Godís hand in it all, so I sposed they done believed in him too.

Few years laters, I done learned I had it all wrong back then. America was a name given to a land that done already existed, n that Columbus feller n his friends were just boldened through their kemical makeup to progress mankind, helpin the beasts to be like peopleís spose to be. Said its all about the strong ones, n them beasts were so weak that little invisible germ things is what killed moreíve em than rifles. Seemed God was just some name given to the whole process, kinda like America, n I just got irate that I been tricked. They done took me for a fool once, n I wasnít so sure they wasnít takiní me for a fool now. I done membered my stories bout that man on a cross that died through sufferin to heal peopleís sufferin. I didnít see no fit-survival theeries in him. So, I done left that buildin n went straight to church. Never did return to schools on account a religion.

After a year a being schooled in church, it done happened to me once again. Preacher Joe passed out a bumper sticker for us Kristchens - it had a picture with a fish eatin Superman. Iíd no idea what this meant, but done sat down cited. Seems some guy with a nitchy for filosofy said that peoples would keep gettin stronger - just like they teach in school - til they come Supermen. Pastor Joe said Jesus was the fish, n at end-times heíll come back to eat the Supermen. Said theyíd get the pleasure a being right bout how things worked, but theyíd be the unfit ones in the end.

I couldnít reconcile this sermon none neither, n thot Jesus was one that fed fish to the people, n tho he said a few lines bout people eating him, didnít think he was the cannable type. Iíd done left school for church, n now, I was embareassed once again.

That there was years go. Never done turned back to neither. Stead, went n found me a Indian reservashun. Been workin n livin here since, a embareassin stain on them Columbus-fellers n the church folk. Sometimes, they the same folk. I know cuz I done seen lotsíve em drive off with Pastor Joeís bumper sticker waving me goodbye after I dealt em cards n drinks for a couple a hours. Spose this is where I belong tho. Them embareassin moments pile so high, ya reconcile to em, specially when ya got a unbareable conscience.


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This article has been read 840 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 07/26/07
I found this powerful! A piece to make us all examine our motives, our actions, and our integrity. Great job with the dialect, too!
Gregory Kane07/29/07
I guess that accents are hard to express in print but, not being American, I couldnít place the one you were using here. Consequently it made reading the monologue more laborious than it needed to be. That said, I love the fact that it is an uncomfortable piece, one that points the figure at schools, nationalism and religion.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 07/30/07
As always: brilliant, convicting and inspiring to be more like Jesus and less like me.
Joanne Sher 07/30/07
A bit hard to follow, but very, very powerful and thought-provoking on so many levels.
Sara Harricharan 08/01/07
Neat! I like the conversational tone and the realistic 'spelling' it was a little hard to follow in some areas, but I think if you break it up into even smaller paragraphs it would read easier. Good job, I'm surprised this doesn't have more comments.
Catrina Bradley 08/01/07
Love the dialog and the "creative spelling". I'm still puzzling over if you meant unBAREable conscience because he couldn't show it - the MC said he learnt to spell that good - or unBEARable cuz he couldn't stand it. Lots to think about in this eye-opening article. Very good writing!
Kristen Hester08/01/07
This was very clever and creative. I was a little confused at times because the characters's spelling and "accent", but you stayed in character which was good. Nice job.
Sharlyn Guthrie08/01/07
Wow! This is very powerful and well-written on all counts.
Beth LaBuff 08/02/07
I agree, this is very thought-provoking. It makes me want to look at my life to see what I might be leaving in my wake. Good job on the language.
Julie Ruspoli08/02/07
I jest luv this! : )
So much to think about and it is great to hear the truth for once. Great article.