Whenever we're embarrassed, humiliated or become red-faced with chagrin, we subconsciously hope that the floor on which we stand will suddenly disintegrate into a million pieces and take us with it; or we pray that a hole will magically appear out of nowhere and swallow us up, right?
Well, believe me, I've tried hoping and praying - and neither has ever worked for me. In fact, let me share with you a couple of instances where heaven never answered my call:
My bathing suit had ripped its seams,
But my beach towel was "over there";
So I thought to myself What can I do?
Then SOS'd this prayer:
"Lord, dig a hole beneath my feet
And let me slide right in;"
But no opening gap or hole arrived,
Except, of course, the unclad skin.
Another time I missed the curb
And fell in the street on my face;
My dress went up as my feet went down;
And I prayed my undies showed lace.
"Lord, send me a manhole
To this busy street...
And please let it swallow me up
And give me the chance to retreat."
Of course, no manhole ever showed
'Twas just me and my ego alone;
Bruised and deflated...I walked away
But thankful that I was unknown.
Okay, so what gives? Back when I was young God always heard and answered my "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer; and later on when I was an adult He always heard and answered "My Father, Which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name" prayer, that Jesus taught His disciples.
Suddenly, out of the blue I hear a wee, small voice whispering in my ear; then it becomes a bit louder, and louder until I can almost hear Him speaking to me like a loving Father, with just a hint of humor and mirth in His voice as He says:
"Yes, my child, I heard your pleas for manhole covers, holes and such to protect your ego, your pride and to save face; but sometimes these things must be faced alone in order to make you humble when you tend to get too high and mighty. (Or as your Mother used to say "Too big for your britches") Oh how she loved you, my earthling princess, and so do I.
"I would have loved to surprise you with a collapsible floor the day your sweater unraveled in the Department Store; or a cellar door to slide down when you fell all the way down the hotel steps in your pink dress and matching high heels to a waiting limousine w/ chauffeur; I did hear your embarrassing cries, but I wanted you to be humbled a bit, so I could gently lead you back to the fold. I am your Father and you are my daughter, whom I love very much.
"Please understand that I don't ignore you or sluff off your prayers as unimportant - I hear every word...it's just because I love you and want you to live forever and ever that I allow you to be humbled by these embarrassments sometimes; Do you understand?"
Sheepishly I nod..."but, it might help if I were less of a klutz, Father." I think I heard a faint chuckle.
"A man's pride shall bring him low" (Prov 29.23 KJV)
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