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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Embarrassed (07/19/07)

TITLE: A Blanket
By dub W
07/20/07


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A barking dog woke her. She blinked at the light coming through the Venetian blinds and tried to focus, but her contacts were salty and scratching her eyes. In the fog of consciousness she reached for the back of the couch and realized her nakedness. “Oh, dear Jesus, what have I done?” Her plea was more of a prayer than an expletive. Where are my clothes?

It was a late stop on the party route, and she didn’t even know where she was or how she got there. She remembered finding the leather sofa, but that was the last thing she recalled. She tried to look around the room. “There’s nobody here.”

She swung her legs over the edge of the couch. Her body ached and she fell to her hands and knees. The scene was much the same each Sunday morning since school started. If daddy saw me, he’d kill me. The stench of the room made her retch. When she fell back and gasped, her fingers touched a woven stadium blanket. It was wadded on the floor beneath a chair.

She pulled on the blanket and the chair tipped. A cell phone toppled off to the floor. It wasn’t hers, but she picked it up. “Hope it has battery.” She held onto the chair and managed to stand and wrap the blanket around her body. Then, she walked to the front door and pulled it open. The fresh air rushed in. “Lord, that feels good. Why don’t You keep me out of these messes?”

She flipped open the phone and dialed a memorized cell phone number. Her lab partner gave her his number during class. It’s was one of those cute numbers. “He said, ‘just dial I love God, but spell love like l - u – v’.”

A groggy voice answered. “Yeah?”

“Martin, listen, don’t hang up.” Tears welled in her eyes. “This is Shelly, you know, from school.”

“Oh, hey Shell, what time is it?”

She pulled the blanket tighter around her body. Through sobs she said, “Martin, I’m in trouble and need help; they took my clothes.” She looked at the phone screen. “It’s six forty-five.” She started shaking and crying.

“Shelly, where are you? What’s going on?”

“If you’ll take me to my dorm, I’ll finish the lab project myself; you won’t have to do a thing.” Her sobs grew louder. ”Or, I’ll do anything you want.”

“You owe me nothing. I’m putting on my shoes now. Where are you?”

She stepped into the yard and looked both ways down the street. “I don’t know and I don’t recognize the street.” Tears rolled off her cheeks.

“Shelly, any mail in the mailbox?”

She moved back onto the porch and peered in the mailbox. It was empty, but a car dealer’s mailing card was crushed and stuffed in an empty flower box. “This card says ‘occupant, 2255 River Lane’.”

“I’ll find it.” He clicked off his phone.

Minutes later a Ford pickup showed up at the curb. Shelly tossed the cell phone in the doorway and ran to the truck.

“Thanks Martin.”

He didn’t speak until she was fully in the truck. “Shelly, are you alright?”

She choked, “Oh yeah, just dandy.”

“I’ll take you to your dorm, but I’m going by friend’s house on the way. Okay?”

Shelly ducked her chin. “Whatever.” Who sees friends this early? “I can stay in the truck, right?” She rolled down the window.

“If you want to.”

They drove in silence until they came to a small brick house. When Martin pulled into the driveway, a young woman walked out to the truck. Martin got out and went around to the passenger side. “Shelly, meet Tina; this is her house.”

“Hello Shelly,” said Tina. “I have a tee shirt and shorts for you on the kitchen table, and some undies that should fit.”

Must be Martin’s girlfriend. Shelly pulled the blanket closer. She felt her face begin to burn. Suddenly, she felt un-cool. “Okay,” she whispered through rolling tears.

“Hey, come on in. Get dressed, and then we can talk over coffee before the crowd gets here.” Tina opened the truck door. “If you wanna stay.”

“Crowd?”

“Just a bunch of Christian college kids who come to sing and praise. You’re welcome to join us.”

Shelly felt her face burning again. “What will they think of me?”

Tina laughed quietly, “Jesus loves you, no matter what; so do we.”


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This article has been read 678 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 07/26/07
Ooh, what a good story for young adults. How easily a story like this can become reality for young women in today's world. The grace of Jesus that you put at the end is really a beautiful reminder of God's love, no matter what we may have done!
Virginia Gorg07/27/07
Well done, and kept my interest to the end. You described well and painted pictures with your words. A good message of hope. Thanks.
william price07/27/07
Nice story with a good message. Thank God is so forgiving and merciful. Your writing ministered a great message of grace. God bless.
Phyllis Inniss 07/29/07
The message came through in your story. The dialogue and the images you painted gave it a very convincing tone. This is very good writing.
Phyllis Inniss 07/29/07
The message came through in your story. The dialogue and the images you painted gave it a very convincing tone. This is very good writing.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge 07/30/07
Excellent story, well told, and very moving. I do have a minor POV... using the term "Venetian" blinds dates the story. More current styles of blinds are Mini, Vertical, Horizontal, and Wooden, to name a few.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 07/30/07
Poignant and to the point - very real and full of hope that Christians can come through without condemnation.
Joanne Sher 07/30/07
This felt extremely realistic - great detail. I wish you'd been able to continue the story - really want to know how she reacted. Great stuff.
Patty Wysong07/30/07
Wow. Good story! I wish you could've continued it so we could hear the rest of it! :-)
Sharlyn Guthrie 07/30/07
Wow! What an amazing story! It seemed very believable, too. Great job.
Betty Castleberry07/30/07
You had me from the first sentence. Believable dialogue, and over all very well done. I enjoyed it.
Kristen Hester 07/31/07
You had my attention the entire story. Great job. I was so uncomfortable and embarrassed for Shelly. I was so thankful for Martin and Tina. You did great on the theme. This story made me feel embarrassed.
Sheri Gordon07/31/07
I want to know the rest of the story. Your writing captured me from the beginning. This flowed so smoothly and the dialogue was so realistic. Great job.
Lynda Schultz 07/31/07
A well-written story with a wonderful message — you had me from the beginning.
Jan Ackerson 07/31/07
I loved everything about this--the characterization of your MC particularly--until the last line, which I found just a tad cliched. I'd have liked a different answer, something that she'd be more likely to relate to.

George Parler 08/01/07
The morning after can be scary as well as embarrassing. Oh, but the love of Christ. Good job of conveying shadows of guilt and compassion in this message.
Loren T. Lowery 08/01/07
Well written and filled with suspense that kept me reading and guessing. Great message of acceptance.
Dianne Janak08/01/07
That is scary to hear it really happens?? Horrible to do to anyone.. but thank God for Christian groups on campus... good story...
Julie Arduini08/01/07
You really brought these characters to life. I was especially impressed with Martin, in such a short span of words you created a character with depth, I was captivated by the entire story. I enjoyed it very much!


   
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