The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/21/07
Very engaging. I have to admit that I needed to read this a few times through before I could figure out exactly what was going on - especially the end. The dialog was just delightful - and the characterization was strong. An enjoyable read!
07/23/07
The layering of the adult thinking and children's everyday dialog is wonderful! You've written a true slice of an ordinary day. It captures the moments in life when good things and bad things are parallel. Great writing!
You are a talented writer -your stories complex. I find myself re-reading and contemplating so as not to miss anything. My favorite lines in this piece are, "It made me feel like a champ twice in less than two minutes every night. Tonight - twice the chump." Your title is great.
07/25/07
I feel like there were a lot of good things here, like your descriptions and the relationships. It was a little abstract at times, making it tough to follow. However, you paint a good picture and the dialogue was good.
I have to admit this was difficult for me to follow at times. However, some of your descritions and dialogues were engaging which allowed me subtle glimpses intot his family's life.
Very well written! I have to say that I admire this piece very much, it is one of my favorites to this week! You paint such a vivid picture and the dialouge is delightful. I liked the descriptions with the water ballons and the Crayola'd, nice touch. ^_^
07/25/07
Bravo! I enjoyed the complexity that makes the reader pay attention. Will definately read again to see if I missed anything. Great article.
07/26/07
I have a particular fondness for the family dynamics of two little girls (having raised two who are now big girls...), so I found this wonderful. One of my faves, and like all of your writings, craftfully layered.