The Official Writing Challenge
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God will make a way, where there seems to be no way. Of this we can be confident!
07/12/07
I saw the same kind of displays in Heidelberg years ago and I felt sad. Your story highlights the fear and entrapment these women live with, and points the way out, as well.
The sadness of the story was gripping, the father's love was touching, and the ending was just right.
07/12/07
Great story — it kept me engaged all the way through. One little nit-picky thing. The rescuer was American all the way through, and then suddenly, right at the end, he was Andrew. The name kind of came out the blue and distracted me. But, hey, that's only me, and it's a wonderful story.
Okay! There has got to be a sequel. You got me hook, (no pun intended) line, and sinker. I'm a wreck... worried sick about them repelling down the wall. Please tell me they are okay and made it safely to her father. This really could be a book. God has given you a tremendous gift. And please tell me that Jetska falls in love with Andrew and they live happily ever after. I love this story.
07/14/07
Gripping story - couldn't imagine where it was heading at first. Well written.
07/14/07
Gripping, real, full of hope. Wow. What a combination!
07/15/07
Excellent job! My only critique is that I found the first sentence in the forth paragraph a lil awkward that didn't match the flow of the rest of this masterful entry. I enjoy stories from different parts of the world. And I really appreciated the fact you did not bombard me over the head with the word confidence. You have a great talent and are not afraid to stretch to areas some would avoid. God bless.
07/17/07
Great title, powerfully written story!
Gripping story. I would love to read the next chapter.
07/17/07
Aw yes, this chapter must be continued. I know the district, it is a short street, and your descriptions were realistic and valid without being crass. Hope this is something of a larger story.
07/17/07
I also hope there is more to this - you did an amazing job with the sense of place and characterization. Very impressive.
A harrowing tale!
I was glued to every word. I love the implied parallel, the trapped soul rescued by the strong, confident savior who appears from somewhere far away, sent by the father. Great!
I was captivated by your story. I, too, hope the story continues and the girl and Andrew can fall in love and live happily ever after. Very nice.
Sounds like quite an adventure and I'm hoping for the best for them both. Redemption is never far away and all it takes is action - even if it is, trusting and repelling out a window.
07/18/07
Neat. I liked this. Very fast-paced. Light suspense. Good job. My only note is the last paragraph is a little confusing. Maybe you could split it up and show the names so we know who's who. Otherwise, great job! ^_^
07/18/07
Great story. I echo the comments above; I want to know what comes next, and what came before. Interesting twist on the topic. Really gripping storytelling.
07/20/07
Gripping, I tell you! :) Very good - I noticed a couple of boo-boos, nothing to distract. This line, the message from the father: He says he loves you, no matter what you’ve done, and he wants you home. is exactly what our Father tells us. Loved it!.