The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/12/07
Good writing - good dialogue and descriptions without being overdone:) You seem to know horses as it all was very believable.
Although I do not ride hunter/jumpers, I do ride western pleasure and english saddle, and what you've described is right on for each discipline. Bringing it into the human arena as an analogy for our lives couldn't be more perfect. Your story telling is tereffic and kept my interest throughout.
Your description had such a genuine feel. (I can just see Mozart's little buck as he cantered off to join his friends.) From reading your writing, you must have ridden quite abit yourself. As I finished out the story, I was wishing that you could have described the triumph of clearing that jump in more detail, but overall, you did a great job!
07/12/07
This is really a wonderful story! I enjoyed the parallels you drew to the Christian walk and the horse's reluctance to try jumping the rail. That verse at the end was a great selection, too.
07/17/07
Great detail - I felt like I was right there. And a wonderful lesson.
07/17/07
Good dialogue and monologue combos, I liked the overall pace and story. A small pronoun reference glitch caused me to read the sentence twice, but otherwise a sound essay.
07/17/07
Good dialogue and monologue combos, I liked the overall pace and story. A small pronoun reference glitch caused me to read the sentence twice, but otherwise a sound essay.
07/17/07
Wonderfully written. This would be a great lesson for teen girls. Love the horse's name and sparkling personality. :) Blessings, Teri
Very well written. I enjoyed it. Thanks.
07/18/07
A wonderful story and lesson. I enjoyed it thoroughly! I think I would have liked a bit more suspense and build-up for the final jump, but I know that word limit is a tyrant! LOL! This is very warm and you did a great job letting us 'see' the activities. Nice work!