The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/12/07
What a wrenching ending! Gave my heart a few extra thumps, that's for sure, and you really hammered the point home.

I'm on the fence about the parallel structure...I found myself skimming each section just for the words that were different, because I'd already "been there." On the other hand, the basic setup was engagingly written. I'll have to think about this one.

Good reading for youth groups.
07/13/07
I agree that Youth groups would like this article. The young seem to need drama and trauma to get their attention, but my poor mother's heart is squeamish! Don't EVEN want to go there, y'know?! Good job with capturing my attention. Though I didn't want to read the ending, I couldn't stop!
I really like the message and the structure of this piece. The last section does seem a little abrupt, and I think I'd have Joe totally dismissing the message he just heard instead of contemplating it. Just a thought. You are an engaging writer. Keep up the great work.
07/14/07
WOW, and double WOW! This is fantastic.
07/16/07
I liked the structure and the toyed repitition. Everything worked until the abrupt ending.
07/17/07
This is amazingly insightful and engaging and effective. Loved it!
This is a WINNER in my book. Wow. I am so sad he died but it is such a powerful message. Great job!
Wow! I laughed with glee as I read about Little Joe's childhood antics. I smiled calmly as he walked forward in church. I gasped when he was struck. You really engaged the readers and drew us in. Outstanding!